Tom Kenny credited as playing...
SpongeBob • Gary • Squid Guard • Squid #2
- Patrick: You're a man now, SpongeBob, and it's time you started acting like one.
- SpongeBob: Yeah! Oh, but I'm not sure I know how.
- Patrick: Allow me to demonstrate. First, puff out your chest.
- [SpongeBob puffs out his chest]
- Patrick: Now say, "tax exemption."
- SpongeBob: Tax exemption.
- Patrick: Now you must develop a taste for free-form jazz.
- [Both listen intently to jazz music]
- Patrick: Okay, you're ready.
- [Looking for Squidward in a crowd of squids]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Are you Squidward?
- Squid #2: No.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Are you Squidward?
- Squidette: No.
- Patrick: [to a fire hydrant] Are you Squidward?
- [silence]
- Patrick: It's okay. Take your time.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [throwing a tantrum] I don't wanna grow up! I want cookies! And milkie! I want a sweater with love in the stitches! I wanna wear diadeys! I wanna ride in my wagon! I wanna cuddle-wuddle with Mr. Stuffykins! I wanna rocky-rock on my seahorsey! And I want kissy-kissy on MY boo-boo!
- [throws himself down on his grandma's floor and sobs]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [hugging the wrong Squidward] Squidward, we finally found you!
- Squid: Get off me, and I'm not Squidward!
- Patrick: [after a small pause] Are you Squidward now?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [to Patrick as Squidward runs past] That looked like Squidward!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [an angry crowd runs past] That looked like Squidward also! In angry mob form!
- Patrick: All right, this is it. What are you going to tell your grandma?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: I'm a grown-up!
- Patrick: No ifs, ands or buts about it!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do!
- Patrick: Then you get behind her and I'll push.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Patrick, we didn't say that.
- Patrick: Oh, right.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Wow, everyone's in a good mood today.
- Squidward: I love bursting your bubble, SpongeBob. They're laughing at you, not with you.
- Fish: Hey, it's grandma's boy! Kushy-kushy-kushy!
- [everybody erupt in laughter]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: No, you're wrong! There's nothing wrong with getting kisses with your grandma!
- Fish: No, especially if you're a big baby who wears diapers!
- [everybody laughs again]
- Fish: And sucks his thumb, and plays with dolls, and umm...
- [everyone stops laughing and start staring at him]
- Fish: ... wears pajamas with feet in them, and carries his, umm, blankie around, and...
- Customers: [yelling] All right already!