Bill Fagerbakke credited as playing...
Patrick Star
- ManRay: Excuse me sir, but I do believe you've dropped your wallet.
- Patrick: Doesn't look familiar to me.
- ManRay: What? I just saw you drop it. Here.
- Patrick: Nope, it's not mine.
- ManRay: It is yours. I am trying to be a good person and return it to you.
- Patrick: Return what to who?
- ManRay: [facepalms, then shows Patrick his ID] Aren't you Patrick Star?
- Patrick: Yup.
- ManRay: And this is your ID.
- Patrick: Yup.
- ManRay: I found this ID in this wallet. And if that's the case, this must be your wallet.
- Patrick: That makes sense to me.
- ManRay: Then take it.
- Patrick: It's not my wallet.
- ManRay: [in anger and frustration] You dim-bulb! Take back your wallet or I'll rip your arms off!
- [SpongeBob pushes the tickle button and Man Ray laughs]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: No. Wrong. Good people don't rip other people's arms off!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Okay, goodness lesson number two. You see someone struggling with a heavy package. What do you do?
- ManRay: Hello, friend. I noticed you were struggling with that package. Would you like some help with...
- [Patrick drops the package on ManRay's foot]
- ManRay: Ow!
- Patrick: Oops, sorry. Can I start over?
- ManRay: I noticed you was...
- [Patrick drops the package again]
- ManRay: OW!
- Patrick: Oops! Gotta start again.
- ManRay: Would...
- [Patrick drops the box again]
- ManRay: OW!
- Patrick: Oops!
- ManRay: You butterfingered pink thing! What's in that box, anyhow?
- Patrick: My wallets.
- ManRay: [in a rage] ARGH!
- [grabs Patrick's head]
- Patrick: NO! SpongeBob, tickle him!
- [Man Ray slams Patrick into the ground repeatedly. SpongeBob presses the tickle button]
- ManRay: [laughs from the belt] It tickles, but it's worth it!
- [continues slamming Patrick into the ground, while still laughing]
- SpongeBob: Alright, goodness lesson number three.
- [Patrick is shown angry and severely injured, sitting in a wheelchair]
- SpongeBob: Uhh, let's see.
- [Patrick snatches away the remote to the tickle belt]
- Patrick: I've got one! I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 100. What is it?
- ManRay: [genuinely confused] Umm... 62?
- Patrick: Wrong!
- [pushes button to tickle ManRay]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [the crowd boos, even Patrick]
- [SpongeBob sees Sandy's buck teeth]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Did you ever noticed... how big squirrels' teeth are?
- Fish Patron 1: [the crowd starts to laugh] That's true.
- Sandy Cheeks: Huh?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: I mean, hey, you could land a plane on those things.
- [the crowd laughs]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: And what's up with that squirrel fur? I guess fleas need a home, too!
- [the crowd laughs harder]
- Patrick: Hahahaha! Squirrel fur!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: And they smell! Uh, but hey, you'd stink, too if you spent three months covered in dirt.
- [the audience is keeps laughing, but Sandy is uncomfortable, smiling awkwardly]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [SpongeBob laughs] Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb?
- Fish Patron 1: [from back] WHY?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Because... they are so darn stupid!
- [the crowd laughs even harder]
- Patrick: Dahahahaha! Oh, that's a good one, eh, Sandy?
- Sandy Cheeks: [chuckling awkwardly, she's uncomfortable] Uh, he... uh, yeah.
- [the crowd cheers loudly and SpongeBob goes backstage]