Rodger Bumpass credited as playing...
Squidward Tentacles • Doctor
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Squidward, you can't eat all those Krabby Patties at once! *Squidward*!
- Squidward Tentacles: What's going to happen?
- [sarcastically]
- Squidward Tentacles: Am I gonna blow up?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: No, worse! It'll go right to your thighs!
- Squidward Tentacles: [gulps] My thighs?
- [pull back on Squidward's enormous legs]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: And *then* you'll blow up!
- [explosion; cut to an ambulance, where Squidward's head is on a seat, while his legs are in a bucket]
- Paramedic: Yeah, I remember my first Krabby Patty.
- Squidward Tentacles: SpongeBob, if I were trapped in the bottom of a well for three years, and had nothing to eat but that Krabby Patty, I'd eat my own legs first. And not just the extra ones.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: But it's good for you!
- Squidward Tentacles: Good for you? That thing is a heart attack on a bun!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: No, Squidward. I meant... good for your soul.
- [Celestial light shines on SpongeBob, who has wings and a halo]
- Squidward Tentacles: Oh, pluh-lease. I have no soul.
- [Fire appears behind Squidward, accompanied by sinister laughter. Squidward notices the sinister laughter and looks apprehensive]
- Squidward Tentacles: [trying to find a place to eat a Krabby Patty without being spotted by SpongeBob] What do I have to do? Eat one out of the garbage?
- [a bystander with a big belly walks up to the trash can with a partially eaten Krabby Patty]
- Bystander: I wish I could eat this, but I'm so darn full. Oh well.
- [throws the Krabby Patty in the trash]
- Squidward Tentacles: I had to say "garbage"... but okay!
- Squidward Tentacles: Look at them eating that garbage.
- [Notices Harold eating his Ultra Krabby Supreme and squirting the bottle of mayonnaise that Squidward had just given to him into his mouth]
- Squidward Tentacles: It's disgusting, they're sickening. I hate Krabby Patties!