Michael McKean credited as playing...
The Clown
- Clown: How am I supposed to negotiate if I don't know what you're thinking?
- The Doctor: I have a very trustworthy face.
- Clown: You show remarkable trust, Captain. How could you be so sure I would keep my word?
- Captain Kathryn Janeway: I've known fear. It's a very healthy thing, most of the time. You warn us of danger, remind us of our limits, protect us from carelessness. I've learned to trust fear.
- Clown: Finally someone who appreciates me! Am I blushing?
- [last lines]
- Clown: What will become of us? Of me?
- Captain Kathryn Janeway: Like all fear, you eventually... vanish.
- Clown: I'm afraid.
- Captain Kathryn Janeway: [whispers] I know.
- Clown: Drat.
- Clown: Well, you certainly know how to bring a party to a halt.
- The Doctor: I don't get out very much.
- Captain Kathryn Janeway: Would you be honest with me?
- Clown: Fear is the most honest of all emotions, Captain.
- Clown: [of Janeway] Who is SHE to tell me what I have to do?
- The Doctor: She's the one out there with the off switch in her hand.
- [the crew on Voyager has failed to shut down the Clown's environment]
- Captain Kathryn Janeway: We've lost.
- Clown: We've won! We've won! We've won! Start the music! Start the music! Celebration! Celebration! Celebration!
- Captain Kathryn Janeway: I'm not Captain Janeway.
- Clown: Could have fooled me.
- Captain Kathryn Janeway: I'm afraid I did.
- Captain Kathryn Janeway: As I understand it, it takes a few minutes before you become aware of my thoughts. Is that true?
- Clown: An eternity of anticipation!
- Captain Kathryn Janeway: And then what happens?
- Clown: And then the fun begins.
- [Kim and Torres walk through a throng of artists and jugglers]
- Ensign Harry Kim: Uh... excuse me. We're trying to find some friends.
- Clown: Well, that shouldn't be difficult. We're all friends here.
- Clown: [to Harry and B'Elanna] If you leave, one of them will die! One of them will die. Try it and see. If you leave...
- [points at the Kohl physician]
- Clown: ...he dies.
- Viorsa: He can do it. He's already killed two of our colleagues.
- Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres: How is that possible?
- Clown: I cut off their heads.
- Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres: But none of this is real!
- Clown: Of course it's real. It's as real as a nightmare.
- Ensign Harry Kim: The two we found dead both suffered from massive heart attacks.
- Clown: Heart attack. Now, what might cause a heart attack? Hmm. Unmanageable stress, perhaps? Unmanageable fear? The fear of losing a head, perhaps?
- Ensign Harry Kim: You scared them to death.
- [the Clown takes a bow]
- Clown: [the Clown surprises Harry and the Kohl survivors by suddenly appearing in front of them] Thinking about escape, are we, Harry? Naughty, naughty. I don't like those thoughts. We're gonna have to do something about them.
- Programmer: He's new. He can't help thinking about getting out.
- Clown: He can! You don't think about it anymore!
- [something occurs to him]
- Clown: Oh, but he's new... and you're old. New and old. Old and... new. Well, then the answer is to simply... make you old, Harry.
- [laughs evilly at Harry, transformed into a feeble old man]
- Clown: Are you afraid of growing old, Harry? Is that what you fear? Being cared for by nurses?
- Little Woman: [dressed like a nurse and with a medicine bottle, she puts a spoon to Harry's mouth] Time for your medicine.
- Clown: You don't like being helpless, do you Harry? You like to take care of yourself. Yes, I know how you hate to feel like the baby on the crew.
- [laughs hysterically at Harry, now transformed into a crying baby that he cradles in his arms]
- Clown: Oh-ho-ho... Ohh, what's the matter, Harry? Oh, does my costume frighten you, huh? Oh-ho-ho...
- Spectre: [leans into Harry's face] Coochie-coo.
- Clown: He-he-he, yeah... Oh, look at little Harry fly.
- [the Clown starts throwing a bawling Harry up and down like a plaything]
- Clown: Whew! Whew, there he goes! Whew! Whee!
- [laughs then loses interest]
- Clown: All right, that's enough.
- [Harry's suddenly back to being an adult and the Clown starts cackling again]
- Ensign Harry Kim: This is not reality. It's an illusion.
- Clown: When your only reality is an illusion, then illusion is a reality.
- [snaps a finger]
- Ensign Harry Kim: Like the man said... "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
- Clown: N'aw, I thought we were gonna be friends. Didn't want to do this, Harry.
- [off-screen someone places surgical gloves on the Clown]
- Clown: No, I didn't want to bring this up in front of the others, but, uh, I know what really scares you. I know when you were nine, your parents took you to that colony - radiation disaster - humanitarian mission. You visited a hospital. You remember.
- [laughs]
- Ensign Harry Kim: [with realization] No.
- Clown: [as some of the clowns wheel a gurney in and bundle Harry onto it] You wandered off by yourself where you weren't supposed to be.
- Ensign Harry Kim: [to himself while the clowns tie Harry down with straps and manacles] The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
- Clown: You saw people and things you weren't supposed to see - sick and dying. Keep repeating "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
- [he leads the other clowns to repeat, like a demented chorus]
- Clown: And how about, "There's no place like home. There's nooo place like home."
- [laughs manically as Harry can't hide his terror anymore]
- Clown: Try clicking your heels together three times. Oh, but your legs are restrained, aren't they, just like that little girl you saw on the operating table?
- [the others place a surgical mask on the Clown and hand him a scalpel]
- Clown: The doctor called for a scalpel... she looked at you... and her face filled with fear. Fear. Fear. Fear. DO YOU REMEMBER?
- [Harry screams his lungs out as the Clown prepares to cut an incision through his chest]
- Spectre: Bravo! Bravo!
- Clown: Go away! I want to be alone.
- Spectre: You're RUINING the festival.
- Little Woman: Don't be a poop!
- Clown: I CAN'T help it! I'm feeling sorry for myself.
- Little Woman: Well, don't take it out on us.
- Spectre: Take it out on THEM.
- Clown: [glancing at Harry and the hostages] You people... you wonderful people... my friends, you do know how to make a man feel better, don't you? Okay, then, what shall we play?