Dana Delany: Lois Lane

Fun and Games

Lois Lane

The Toyman: I'm so glad you decided to stay, Ms. Lane. We're going to have a whole lot of fun.
Lois Lane: Why me, Toyman?
The Toyman: Because of those lies you wrote about me in your little paper. This time, I want you to get it right.

The Toyman: Now the real fun begins. You're going to play... reporter! This time, I want you to take good notes.
Bruno 'Ugly' Mannheim: [descended from the ceiling like a marionette] You just made the biggest mistake of your life, you miserable little freak! I mean it, Schott. I got friends. They'll find you!
[Toyman's toy soldiers move forward and aim their rifles]
Bruno 'Ugly' Mannheim: On the other hand, maybe we can make a deal.
[Toyman blindfolds him]
Bruno 'Ugly' Mannheim: Aah!
The Toyman: No peeking now.
Bruno 'Ugly' Mannheim: Please, don't!
Lois Lane: You can't be serious.
The Toyman: Deadly serious, Ms. Lane. Playtime is over. Ready... aim...
[Lois pushes him out of the way]
The Toyman: Hey!
[she pushes over one toy soldier, which dominoes and knocks the others down]
The Toyman: [picking up one of the toy rifles] Ahh! You broke my toys! You spoiled my fun!

Lois Lane: Enjoying a leisurely afternoon, or have you been listening to the police band again?
Clark Kent: Actually, Perry assigned me the park opening. Why? What's up?
Jimmy Olsen: You haven't heard about the Toyman?
Clark Kent: Who?
Lois Lane: Uh-uh. Nice try, Smallville, but this one's mine.

Lois Lane: Read it and weep, Kent. It's all here: the attack on the armored car, the attack on Mannheim, and as a finishing touch, a preliminary profile on the perp by a noted police psychiatrist.
Clark Kent: Based on what?
Lois Lane: He uses toys as weapons. We're talking about a guy with very serious issues. Like the shrink says: an emotionally stunted, amoral narcissist with paranoid delusions desperately...
The Toyman: [in his playhouse, reading the article] "... desperately seeking external validation through antisocial behavior."

Clark Kent: [after saving Lois from Toyman as Superman] You sure you're okay?
Lois Lane: Yeah. He was a sicko, Kent, but I can't help feeling sorry for him.
Bruno 'Ugly' Mannheim: He was a loser, a walking freak show, like his old man. This is one funeral I'll skip.
Cop: I'm not sure there's gonna be a funeral. My people still haven't found the body. However, they did find this.
[showing them an evidence baggie containing the broken pieces of Toyman's mask]

Superman: Little boys shouldn't play with sharp objects.
The Toyman: Who invited you, Superman?
Bruno 'Ugly' Mannheim: Superman? Superman, is that you?
The Toyman: Don't think I haven't prepared a surprise for you. Here's something you can't break.
Superman: [getting hit with a Play-Doh-like substance] Very funny, Toyman.
[it starts to mutate and envelop him]
Superman: Huh?
The Toyman: Uh, maybe you should read the warning. Dopey Doh is a lethal biogenic organism. Contact with the skin can prove fatal. It won't stop growing until it asphyxiates its host. Not for children under three.
Superman: [she approaches to help] Lois, no! Don't touch it!
Lois Lane: What can I do?
Superman: Get back. Find something to hide behind. Hurry!

Johnny: It was... it was Toyman... calling t-t-time-out. T-Tell Bruno th-the Toyman.
Jimmy Olsen: [taking pictures of the armored car] What a smash-up.
Lois Lane: Odd thing. I heard it was parked at the time.
Jimmy Olsen: Where, at a monster truck rally?
Lois Lane: Look on the bright side, Spider. At least you look good in silver.
'Spider' Spinelli: Ms. Lane, excuse me if I don't shake hands.
Lois Lane: So, what's the lowdown on this Toyman character? I hear he's got it in for your boss, Bruno Mannheim.
'Spider' Spinelli: Hey, what boss? I happen to be a independent agent.
[being led away by a patrol officer]
'Spider' Spinelli: You're wasting your time, dollface. I'll see you in two to five.
Jimmy Olsen: Where to now, Ms. Lane? The Planet?
Lois Lane: Actually, I was thinking about a picnic in the park.

Lois Lane: Mr. Mannheim, Lois Lane, Daily Planet. Any comments on this morning's armored car hijacking?
Bruno 'Ugly' Mannheim: Why would I have a comment? I'm a legitimate businessman.
Lois Lane: Of course. And you have no knowledge of someone calling himself the Toyman?
Bruno 'Ugly' Mannheim: I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm a respected citizen. And I don't appreciate your little insinuations.
Clark Kent: [seeing toy planes buzzing in the air, which arm real machine guns] Look out!