Angus T. Jones credited as playing...
Jake Harper
- Jake Harper: I heard Mom say that the reason Uncle Charlie gets in so much trouble is that he thinks with his little head. It's not that little.
- Charlie Harper: Okay. You tell your mother...
- Alan Harper: Charlie!
- Charlie Harper: [changing his tune] ... that women are to be honored and respected.
- Alan Harper: See, Jake. That's the big head talking.
- Jake Harper: [getting a little impatient] But he only has one head!
- Charlie Harper: You wanna tell him, or should we let him spin for awhile?
- Alan Harper: I'd rather he spin.
- Jake Harper: Aw, come on! At least give me a clue!
- Alan Harper: All right. What do men have that women don't?
- Jake Harper: Beards?
- Charlie Harper: Lower.
- Jake Harper: [in a deeper voice] Beards?