Charlie Sheen credited as playing...
Charlie Harper
- Charlie: Hey, you still got your old garage door clicker, right?
- Alan Harper: Yeah.
- Charlie: So, let Judith have the books and then one night maybe someone goes and gets them back.
- Alan Harper: Wonderful. Breaking and entering.
- Charlie: It's not breaking if you have the clicker!
- Alan Harper: More good advice.
- Charlie: And it's free! So, hang up, let's get that beer!
- Alan Harper: [on the phone] Oh. Oh, sure I'll hold.
- [to Charlie]
- Alan Harper: They're patching me through to her cell phone.
- [cell phone rings upstairs]
- Alan Harper: What's that?
- Charlie: That? Th-tha-that is coincidentally *my* cell phone!
- Charlie: These divorce lawyers have a good business don't they?
- Alan Harper: Yeah, in the same way locusts have a good business!