James Fleet credited as playing...
Hugo Horton
- [last lines]
- Hugo Horton: Lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place.
- Jim Trott: No no no no no, it does.
- Hugo Horton: Does it?
- Jim Trott: Oh yes, my father was struck twice by lightning.
- Hugo Horton: Good Lord! How did he feel afterwards?
- Jim Trott: Heavy. We buried him the next day.
- David Horton: This is intolerable!
- [Enters the church hall where everyone is still working on preparations for the fete]
- David Horton: Isn't it time you all went to bed?
- Alice Tinker: It's a last minute idea I had. We're having a fashion parade at the end of the fete, and people have to come as characters from Elton John's songs.
- Geraldine Granger: Oh, look at Mrs C!
- [Mrs Cropley is wearing an evening dress and a curly blonde wig]
- David Horton: Ah, Mrs Cropley! Am I mistaken, or did Mr John write a song about Danny La Rue?
- Letitia Cropley: No - Marilyn Monroe. "It seemed to him, she lived her life like a candle in the wind, ever knowing who to cling to when the rain set in."
- Geraldine Granger: I think you'll find David, that Jim is our star turn. Come in, Jim Trott!
- [Jim enters wearing jeans and a Union Jack tank top with a bald wig]
- Jim Trott: [In a thug voice] A skinhead!
- [singing while putting up his fists]
- Jim Trott: Saturday night's alright for fighting!
- David Horton: [Unimpressed] Yes, well. Much as I'd like to dress up like someone who's had their brain surgically removed Vicar, I think you'll find that myself and Hugo will not have the time to join in this particular piece of high class entertainment!
- Geraldine Granger: Hugo!
- [Hugo skips into the room wearing a blue and white gingham pinafore dress with a white blouse and a wig with bunches and gives a twirl]
- Hugo Horton: Get it? I-I'm Dorothy. Wizard of Oz. "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road." I-I borrowed one of Alice's dresses.
- [His smile fades as David glares at him with arms folded]
- Hugo Horton: Sorry, Father.
- [Puts his hands to his chest]