James Fairfax credited as playing...
Jeremy Oakes
- Jeremy Oakes: Colonel Farnsworth presents his compliments, sir, and requests you keep that dirty-nosed little Irish monster of yours in a suitable cage.
- Mike O'Toole: Ooh, so he did, did he now?
- Jeremy Oakes: I took the liberty of toning down the language.
- Colonel Albert Farnsworth: I'm prepared to make allowances for colonials like yourself, men of no tradition, no roots. In a century or two you may have a chance of becoming moderately civilised. But the Irish are another kettle of fish. Their roots are in the peat pond. You can't civilise the Irish, not in a million years.
- Jeremy Oakes: Well, since it seems to be impossible for you to get along with normal, decent people, I suggest that you stay to yourself from now on.
- Colonel Albert Farnsworth: My good man, delighted.
- Jeremy Oakes: And stop frightening children.
- Colonel Albert Farnsworth: You made an excellent suggestion, Major, but typical with your country, you don't seem to be able to carry it out.
- Jeremy Oakes: Suggestion? What?
- Colonel Albert Farnsworth: I express my pleasure at the idea of being left alone.
- Jeremy Oakes: FARNSWORTH! All right, all right, from now on, you can just look after yourself. You understand that?
- Colonel Albert Farnsworth: Odd fellow. I wonder how long he'd last in India.