Greg Proops credited as playing...
Self
- Greg Proops: [in "World's Worst", about instructional videos]
- [impersonating Bill Clinton]
- Greg Proops: Hi. I used to be president. Some of you might have trouble meetin' the ladies.
- Drew Carey: I'm Richard Simmons, and I'm gonna show YOU how to pick up girls!
- [walks backwards and almost loses his footing]
- Colin Mochrie: To clap, raise one hand, then the other, keeping them an equi-distance apart. Then, force them together at a speed which makes this sound:
- [claps]
- Colin Mochrie: Repeat.
- [claps]
- Colin Mochrie: Repeat.
- Greg Proops: [in surfer accent] Hello, dudes and dudettes, and welcome to "How to Deliver a Pizza".
- Colin Mochrie: Welcome to "Dogs Have Prostates, Too".
- Ryan Stiles: Take the magazine in your hand. Lower your pants, and sit. Now read.
- [mimes reading]
- Ryan Stiles: Once again...
- [Wayne buzzes him out]
- Greg Proops: How would YOU like to be an exotic dancer?
- [shakes his hips]
- Greg Proops: [both Drew and Colin step forward at the same time; Wayne buzzes both out before they say anything. Greg steps forward with another joke, lying down] Hello, and welcome to "Drinking for Professionals".
- Ryan Stiles: Hi, I'm Drew Carey. Today, we're gonna learn how to walk backwards. Look behind you. Look behind you while you're walking. There's a stair. Lift your foot onto the stair, pushing yourself up onto the stair.
- Drew Carey: Hi, I'm Ryan Stiles. Welcome to my lovemaking secrets tape.
- [mimes smoking]
- Drew Carey: This tape will end in sixty seconds.
- Ryan Stiles: I wish!
- Colin Mochrie: Oh, those frustrating banana peels! How do you get them off the banana? Hold the banana firmly in one hand...
- [Wayne buzzes him out; Colin steps forward again]
- Colin Mochrie: Oh, those frustrating gerbil skins!
- Greg Proops: Hi, I'm Bill from the NRA, and it's gun safety week-
- [mimes accidentally shooting himself in the head, falling to the floor]
- Ryan Stiles: [walks forward and looks silently to the left] Ten more minutes, we can put on a second coat.
- [demonstrates "how to walk backward" again; Drew leaves his spot to playfully push Ryan]
- Greg Proops: [acting hung over] Ugh. Good morning.
- [coughs]
- Greg Proops: Welcome to "How to be a Scoutmaster". Now...
- [pause; Wayne buzzes]
- Greg Proops: [amused] That's where the buzzer goes.
- Drew Carey: Hi, Scouts. Welcome to "Anyone Can Masturbate".