Patricia Heaton credited as playing...
Natalie Hollingsworth
- Sissy Emerson: You know, there was a woman on TV the other day who, I kid you not, has this condition that makes her nipples hard all the time. I mean, come on! Get a life, get a vest! I don't wanna know this! I mean, whatever happened to keeping your dirty little secrets to yourself? What ever happened to shame? I'm sorry, but I think a little shame is healthy. You know, feeling so completely disgusted with yourself that you never want anyone to know how really low and truly wretched you are! I mean, am I the only one left in the world that still treasures the old-fashioned qualities of guilt and self-loathing?
- Natalie Hollingsworth: I wouldn't know, Emerson. I don't know anything about those programs, I only watch PBS.
- Sissy Emerson: Oh sure, Natty, that's what all the people who wear wigs and sunglasses tell their friends. And then they end up on TV with little descriptions under their faces like, "Sandy fears oral stimulation."
- Suzanne Sugarbaker: Now my rule is, you've done your job right if a man leaves your house breathin' hard and walkin' funny.
- Natalie Hollingsworth: Well I, for one, would like to distance myself from this philosophy. I find it disgusting! It makes women sexual commodities.
- Suzanne Sugarbaker: Well, you can call it whatever you like, Natty, but I'm just tellin' you men respect pain. They like it! That's why they watch football. That's why they like me.
- Sissy Emerson: I thought we were here to warn Malone about the lines that guys give you. I mean, this is something that a person like her would be very susceptible to.
- Jennifer Malone: Oh, I know about that. You mean, like, "What's your sign?"
- Sissy Emerson: "What's your sign?" No, you poor kid, no one uses that one anymore. I mean stuff like, uh, "Hi, my name is Frank, I work in advertising. My wife died last year of a brain tumor and until I met you, I haven't really wanted to be with anyone, except for my two small children, Max and Kara." Then later you find yourself in his apartment in Watergate... He's wearing a fur speedo and asking you to beat him with a broom because he's been naughty. Naughty, naughty, naughty!
- Natalie Hollingsworth: Gee, Emerson, this sounds oddly specific.