Red Dwarf (TV Series)

Blue (1997)

Craig Charles: Lister

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lister : I must be losing it, or I'd never be dreaming stuff like that. Kissing Rimmer? I'd rather go bobbing for apples in a communal latrine at the Reading festival!

• Lister : [about Rimmer]  I never wanna see or hear from that scum sucking, lying, weasel minded smeghead in my entire life.

  Kryten : Sigmund Freud, eat your heart out.

• Kochanski : So you're missing Rimmer?

  Lister : Had a dream about him, he was all smiles and jokes... and stuff.

  Kochanski : I thought you guys didn't get on.

  Lister : We didn't that's what's so weird. His tightness drove me crazy, the way he always used to eat his food in alphabetical order, the way he only ever used three pieces of toilet paper, one up, one down, one to polish.

  Kochanski : Did he have any redeeming features?

  Lister : No. Well, yeah, sometimes he went out the room.

• Lister : [Rimmer has returned]  So... where have you been?

  Rimmer : Argon 5. I fought in the Belagosian war, I was decorated, and used a Christmas tree in the town square where people came and fed me cherry liqueur chocolates for the whole winter.

  Lister : Really?

  Rimmer : Nah, I'm only kidding.

  Lister : Kidding? What do you know about kidding?

  Rimmer : I just though it was time I lightened up a little.

  [Blows into party horn] 

  Rimmer : Hey, hey!

• Lister : He had lots of funny little habits, but now that he's gone I can see them for what they were.

  The Cat : Cretinous?

• Lister : I've missed you, man.

  Rimmer : [suddenly passionate]  And I've missed you too, Listy.

  Lister : [burning with ardor]  Oh, Arnold, man.

  [He embraces Rimmer] 

  Rimmer : Dave!

  Lister : Don't ever leave us again!

  Rimmer : [gazing into Lister's eyes]  I won't! I won't!

  Lister : Do you promise?

  Rimmer : Oh, Listy!

  Lister : Oh, Rimsy!

  [Their lips hover for a moment, then they kiss passionately. The dream ends]