Bronson Pinchot credited as playing...
Balki Bartokomous
- Larry Appleton: Balki, I thought you were out collecting clothes for the poor?
- Balki Bartokomous: Well cousin, I was. Look how generous people were. They give me their pants off their backs.
- Balki Bartokomous: [referring to the junk food Larry has hidden around the apartment] You have made our living room into a 7-11!
- Balki Bartokomous: You know, I can always tell when you're lying because you say everything twice.
- Larry Appleton: I'm not lying... I am *not* lying!
- Larry Appleton: What did you just do to me?
- Balki Bartokomous: I just performed the Mypos Ritual of Promise.
- Larry Appleton: Am I still a Presbyterian?
- Larry Appleton: The Mypos Diet, please! A country whose King weighs three hundred pounds?
- Balki Bartokomous: He has a gland problem.
- Larry Appleton: Balki, you told me he holds the world record for eating jelly donuts!
- Balki Bartokomous: He's also very competitive.
- Larry Appleton: This is my high school chorus jacket! Got a lot of memories in this jacket.
- [puts on jacket and finds he can't button it]
- Balki Bartokomous: Maybe you should take some of the memories out of the jacket.
- Balki Bartokomous: On Mypos when you ask someone to help you, you let them help you, you don't fight them. *You're* the one who wanted to lose weight, and you make me do all the work. You lie to me, you trick me, and now this, and I can't take it anymore, I haven't got time for the pain! So I'm breaking my promise. There, I hope you're happy.
- Larry Appleton: Balki, I'm... I'm sorry I did this to you. When I asked you for help, I... I meant it, but I've never had to lose weight before. When I'd hear people talk about how hard it was, I didn't understand why they didn't just eat less. The past few days, I've learned how hard it is, I should never have made you take all the responsibility.
- Larry Appleton: Give me the Mypos diet.
- Balki Bartokomous: Well, are you sure you don't want to stick with the Larry diet? You know, the one where you eat nothing all day, then at night you eat everything in the refrigerator except the light bulb. You *did* leave the light bulb, didn't you?
- Larry Appleton: Yes.
- Balki Bartokomous: Did you leave the light bulb?