Yeardley Smith credited as playing...
Lisa Simpson
- Marge: Oh, Homer, where have you been?
- Homer: I just underwent a procedure to increase my IQ 50 points.
- Marge: Really?
- Homer: And they gave me this spiffy nerd ensemble, too.
- Marge: Do you feel smarter?
- Homer: Is the capital of North Dakota Bismarck?
- Lisa: [the family all looks to her] It is.
- Bart Simpson: I don't believe it. Say something else smart.
- Homer: Dr. Joyce Brothers may be well-known, but her psychological credentials are highly suspect.
- Lisa: [the family all looks to her again] It's true!
- Homer: Now, who's up for a trip to the library tomorrow? Notice I no longer say "liberry" or "tomorry".
- Lisa Simpson: [learning Homer re-inserted a crayon into his brain] Dad, how could you? We were connecting in such a meaningful way.
- Homer Simpson: We were what what in the what what?
- Homer: Family meeting. Family meeting.
- [the rest of the family runs into the dining room and quickly takes their seats]
- Homer: Okay, people, let's keep this short. We all want to get home to our families.
- [all laugh]
- Homer: All right, first item: I lost our life savings in the stock market. Now, let's move on to the real issue: Lisa's hogging of the maple syrup.
- Lisa: Well, maybe if Mom didn't make such dry waffles. There, I said it.
- Marge: Well, maybe if you ate some meat, you'd have a natural lubricant.
- [gasps and turns to Homer]
- Marge: You lost all our money?
- Homer: Point of order - I didn't lose ALL the money. There was enough left for this cowbell.
- [rings it softly and the bell breaks apart in his hands]
- Homer: Damn you, eBay!
- Lisa: [reading a note from Homer] "Lisa, I'm taking the coward's way out. But before I do, I just want you to know being smart made me appreciate how amazing you really are."