Jensen Ackles credited as playing...
Dean Winchester
- [Dean taps his beer bottle against Sam's and takes a drink; Sam smirks. Dean tries to put the bottle down and finds that it's glued to his hand. Sam laughs]
- Dean Winchester: You didn't.
- [Sam holds up a bottle of superglue, grinning]
- Sam Winchester: Oh, I did.
- Dean Winchester: I thought the legend said that Morteki only goes after chicks.
- Sam Winchester: He does.
- Dean Winchester: Right well that explains we he went after you but why me?
- Sam Winchester: Hilarious.
- Dean Winchester: People believe in Santa Claus. How come I'm not getting hooked up every Christmas?
- Sam Winchester: Because you're a bad person.
- [Dean and Sam find the Hell House guarded by police]
- Sam Winchester: I guess the cops don't want any more kids screwin' around in there.
- Dean Winchester: Yeah, but *we* still gotta get in there.
- [they hear loud whispering]
- Dean Winchester: I don't believe it.
- [Sam looks and sees Zeddmore and Spengler trying to sneak up on the house]
- Dean Winchester: I got an idea.
- [he throws his voice]
- Dean Winchester: Who ya gonna call?
- [the cops chase the other two; Sam and Dean sneak into the house]
- Sam Winchester: [Dean puts a spoon in Sam's mouth when he's sleeping] Haha. Very funny.
- Dean Winchester: [laughs] Sorry. Not a lot of scenery here in East Texas, kinda got to make your own.
- Sam Winchester: Man, we're not kids anymore, Dean! We're not gonna start that crap up again.
- Dean Winchester: Start what up?
- Sam Winchester: That... prank stuff. It's stupid, and it always escalates!
- Dean Winchester: Oh what's the matter Sammy, afraid you're gonna get a little Nair in your shampoo again, huh?
- Sam Winchester: All right. Just remember you started it.
- Dean Winchester: Oh ho, bring it on baldy.
- Dean Winchester: [picking up a jar in the Hell House's basement] Hey Sam I dare you to take a swig 'a this.
- Sam Winchester: The hell would I do that for?
- [pause]
- Dean Winchester: [grinning] I double dare you.
- Dean Winchester: I barely have any skin left on my palm.
- Sam Winchester: I'm not touching that line with a ten foot pole.
- Dean Winchester: [looking into Ed and Harry's trailer] Oh, look at that. Action figures in their original packaging. What a shocker.
- [Dean pulls the string on a novelty toy, making it cackle]
- Sam Winchester: If you pull that string one more time, I'm gonna kill you.
- [Dean pulls it again, laughs; Sam glares]
- Dean Winchester: C'mon man, you need more laughter in your life, you know, you're way too tense.
- [after Dean puts itching powder in Sam's shorts]
- Sam Winchester: Man, I think I'm allergic to our soap or somethin'.
- [Dean laughs and starts to walk away]
- Sam Winchester: You did this?
- [Dean laughs again]
- Sam Winchester: You're a friggin' jerk!
- Dean Winchester: Oh yeah!
- [Sam takes his bag and coffee and leaves]
- Sam Winchester: I have a confession to make, I was the on that called them and told them I was a Hollywood producer.
- Dean Winchester: Well I was the one that put the dead fish in their back seat.
- Sam Winchester: [both laugh] Truce?
- Dean Winchester: Ok well at least for the next 100 miles.
- Dean Winchester: We're reporters with the Dallas Morning News. I'm Dean, this is Sam.
- Craig Thursten: No way. Heh. Yeah, I'm a writer too. I write for my school's lit magazine.
- Dean Winchester: [sotto voce] Oh. Well good for you, Morrison.
- Sam Winchester: I have a confession to make.
- Dean Winchester: What's that?
- Sam Winchester: [about Ed and Harry] I was the one who called them and told 'em I was a producer.
- Dean Winchester: Well, I'm the one who put the dead fish in their backseat.
- Dean Winchester: I thought the legend says that Mordechai only goes after chicks.
- Sam Winchester: It does.
- Dean Winchester: Right. Well, I mean, that explains why he went after you, but why me?
- Craig Thursten: Guys, I'm really not in the mood to answer any more of your questions, okay?
- Dean Winchester: Oh don't worry, don't worry, we're just here to buy an album, that's all.
- [he fishes through the rack, pulls out a record]
- Dean Winchester: You know I couldn't figure out what that symbol was, and then I realized that it doesn't mean *anything*. It's a logo for Blue Oyster Cult. So tell me Craig, you uh, you into BOC? Or just scaring the hell outta people?
- [he hands Craig the album with the logo on it]
- Dean Winchester: Now why don't you tell us about that house? Without lyin' through your ass this time.
- Craig Thursten: [sighing] All right, um. My cousin, Dana, was on break from TCU. And, I guess we were just bored, looking for something to do, so I showed her this abandoned dump I found. We thought it'd be funny if we made it look like it was haunted. So we painted symbols on the walls, some from some albums, some from some of Dana's theology textbooks, and we found out this guy Murdoch used to live there, so we, we made up some story to go along with that. So, they told people, who told other people... and then these two guys put it on their stupid website. Everything just, took on a life of its own. I mean I, I thought it was funny at first but... now that girl's dead? I mean it was just a joke! You know I mean, none of it was real, we made the whole thing up! I swear!
- Dean Winchester: All right.
- [to Sam, as they walk out]
- Dean Winchester: If none of it was real how the hell do you explain Mordecai?