Dan Castellaneta credited as playing...
Jimmy • Homer Simpson • Groundskeeper Willie • Santa's Little Helper • Gomer Pyle • Frenchman
- [Writing a farewell letter to Mrs. Krabappel]
- Homer: Three simple words: "I am gay."
- Marge Simpson: Homer, for the last time, I am not putting that in!
- [the following is a montage of Homer and the swear jar]
- [In church. The salvation money is being collected. Homer takes out his wallet and gives them a dollar bill]
- Bart Simpson: Homer, that was a twenty.
- Homer: [yelling] Da - !
- [Homer puts coins in the swear jar]
- Homer: [At the bowling alley. The ball hits all pins. The last one is still jiggling around. Homer makes motions for the pin to fall. The pin stays straight]
- Homer: [yelling] Oh, you son of a - !
- [Homer puts more coins in the swear jar]
- Homer: [Homer is taking out the garbage. Flanders, shaved, talks to him from the fence]
- Ned Flanders: Homer. You know, I owe you one, buddy. No sooner had I shaved off the old cocky-duster than a lady cast me in a commercial.
- [collects the mail]
- Ned Flanders: I tell you, the way these checks keep coming in, it's almost criminal.
- Homer: [yelling] You dirty bas - !
- [Homer puts more coins in the swear jar]
- Homer: [Lisa is watching Homer build a doghouse]
- Homer: What do you think, Lisa?
- Lisa Simpson: How's the dog supposed to get in?
- Homer: Well, he just goes - Oh - !
- [Homer puts more coins in the swear jar]
- Homer: [Homer is outside, sleeping in a hammock. A beehive falls on him. The bees fly out] Aaah!
- [Homer puts more coins in the swear jar. This time, his arm is covered in bee stings]
- Homer: [Homer is outside, building the doghouse. He hits his finger]
- Homer: Aa - Oh, fudge. That's... broken.
- [gets up and steps on a nail, impaling his toe]
- Homer: Fiddle-dee-dee! That will require a tetanus shot. I'm not going to swear, but I am going to KICK THIS DOGHOUSE DOWN!
- [goes psycho and starts kicking the doghouse, destroying it]
- Lisa Simpson: Now we need to find a way to end it.
- Homer: How about, "with a love that will echo through the ages..."
- Lisa Simpson, Marge Simpson: Awww...
- Bart Simpson: Homer, you old honey dripper!
- [Writing a farewell love letter to Mrs. Krabappel]
- Bart Simpson: How about, "an alligator bit off my face."
- Marge Simpson: That's disgusting! And besides, if a woman really loves a man, she doesn't care if an alligator bites off his face.
- Homer: I may hold you to that, Marge.