Marcia Wallace credited as playing...
Edna Krabappel
- Mrs. Krabappel: [sighs] Oh, Woodrow. How could you stand me up?
- Bart Simpson: Mrs. K, whoever this guy is, you don't need him. There are plenty of good men around.
- Mrs. Krabappel: Name one.
- Bart Simpson: What's wrong with Principal Skinner?
- Mrs. Krabappel: Seymour? Heh. Let's just say his mommy won't let him out to play.
- Bart Simpson: What about Coach Fortner?
- Mrs. Krabappel: [makes a drinking gesture] Glug, glug, glug, glug glug, glug, glug, glug.
- Bart Simpson: Wow... What about Groundskeeper Willie?
- Mrs. Krabappel: Gah! I'm not even gonna tell you what that guy's into! Bart, you are the closest thing to a man in my life... and that's so depressing, I think I'm gonna cry.
- [starts sobbing]
- Elizabeth Hoover: I fail to see the educational value of this assembly.
- Mrs. Krabappel: Ah, it will be one of their few pleasant memories when they're pumping gas for a living.
- Mrs. Krabappel: [Bart accidentally killed the classroom fish with his yo-yo] Bart, that's one month's detention.
- Bart Simpson: Mrs Krabappel, we're all upset by the untimely deaths of Stinky and Wrinkles, but life goes on, so if I could just have my yo-yo back...
- Mrs. Krabappel: Bart, if I were you and you were me, would you give back the yo-yo?
- Bart Simpson: [Bart imagines himself as a giant with a yo-yo and Mrs Krabappel as a tiny person] Here you go.
- [he reels it in before she can grab it]
- Bart Simpson: Just kidding. Here you go.
- [does it again]
- Bart Simpson: Just kidding,
- [laughs evilly]
- Mrs. Krabappel: Well, would you?
- Bart Simpson: Absolutely.
- Mrs. Krabappel: HA!
- Mrs. Krabappel: After two months at sea the Pilgrims were running out of food and water. Yes, Nelson?
- Nelson Muntz: Did they have any yo-yos?
- Mrs. Krabappel: [annoyed] No, they did not have yo-yos.
- Mrs. Krabappel: [continues her lecture] When they landed they were greeted by the Wompanog lndians. Yes, Milhouse?
- Milhouse Van Houten: Did the indians have yo-yos?
- Mrs. Krabappel: [angrily agitated] No, they did not have yo-yos! I am sick and tired of talking about yo-yos. I will not accept any book reports, science projects, dioramas or anything else on yo-yos. Am I making myself clear?
- Bart Simpson: [in a sly tone] Yo!