Bill Fagerbakke credited as playing...
Patrick Star
- SpongeBob SquarePants: I'm so loyal, I don't mind sleeping out in the cold, hard ground while Captain Krabs sleeps in his warm, dry tent.
- Patrick: I'm so loyal, I haven't bathed in weeks.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Patrick, we've been out only a few hours.
- Patrick: I know.
- Patrick: Where is "Leaving Bikini Bottom?"
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Where did you see that?
- Patrick: We just passed a sign: "You are now in 'Leaving Bikini Bottom."
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [looks out the window] What?
- Patrick: What's wrong, SpongeBob?
- [SpongeBob sees a sign reading "Bikini Bottom City Limits"]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Patrick, I think we're on the wrong...
- [bus careens down a ravine; SpongeBob and Patrick are slammed to the back by the force of the fall]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: ...bus!
- Patrick: Spongebob, bus is here! SPONGEBOB!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [tries to run up the road] Ahh! Ahhh! Ahhhh!
- Flying Dutchman: Who dug up the Dutchman's treasure?
- Mr. Krabs: They did.
- Flying Dutchman: So, you two scalawags dug up my treasure, did you?
- [Patrick and SpongeBob are shaking and crying]
- Flying Dutchman: Well, you saved me a lot of digging, you did, so here's a reward for the two of yous.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Wow!
- Chorus: Two gold doubloons!
- Mr. Krabs: Wait! I'm the captain of this crew. Where's my reward?
- Flying Dutchman: I guess you're right. Here's a little something for your trouble.
- Mr. Krabs: Gold! Gold... Wait, it's just a little plastic treasure chest.
- Chorus: Plastic!
- Flying Dutchman: Aye, but it's based on a real treasure.
- [Leaves]
- Patrick: Gee, Mr. Krabs. You're looking all sweaty again.
- Mr. Krabs: Now put on this pirate garb so I'm not embarrased to be seen with you.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Wow! Look, Patrick. Peg legs and eye patches.
- Mr. Krabs: Now, don't you feel like real pirates?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [Wearing pegs on both legs] Look, I'm Peggy the Pirate. Whoa!
- [Trips and falls]
- Patrick: [Wearing patches on both eyes] I'm Blindbeard the Pirate. Whoa!
- [Trips and falls over SpongeBob]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Okey-dokey, then.
- Mr. Krabs: A pirate does not say "Okey-dokey, then." A pirate says "Argh!"
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Okay-do... Oops! I mean, Argh, Captain Krabs.
- [He spies a reef straight ahead]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Captain, we're about to hit... I mean, Argh - Cap, Argh! - we're - Argh! - about - Argh! to - Argh! - hit - Argh!...
- Mr. Krabs: Out with it, Man!
- Patrick: I think - Argh! - he's trying - Argh! - to say - Argh! - that we're - Argh! about to...
- [They crash]
- Patrick: Land.
- Mr. Krabs: Argh. From now on, only the captain gets to say "Argh!"
- Mr. Krabs: So, you think old Mr. Krabs has gone crazy, do ye?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: No, Mr. Krabs! We don't think that at all!
- Patrick: I think that.
- Patrick: SpongeBob, I don't like it here. It's dark and scary. I don't wanna be here. I wanna go home. Look! I can't even tell the bathrooms apart!
- [Close up of bathroom doors show one with a question mark, the other with an upside-down question mark]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Uh, that's an easy one, Pat. Uh, just wait for someone to come out, and then you'll know.
- [a weird, unidentifiable creature comes out of one of the bathrooms]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Maybe we should wait for one more.
- [More weird creatures come out of the bathrooms]
- Patrick: I still can't read the sign! I wanna go home!
- Mr. Krabs: Ensign Patrick, which is east?
- Patrick: Uh...
- [Patrick tries to read the compass]
- Patrick: Uh, that way, Captain!
- Mr. Krabs: [the crew walks ten-thousand paces] 9,997, 9,998, 9,999, 10,000! Where's the X? It's supposed to be here ten-thousand paces east.
- Patrick: Oh. East? I said you said weast.
- Mr. Krabs: Weast? What kind of compass are you reading, Patrick?
- Patrick: [Patrick hands Krabs the compass] This one, sir.
- Mr. Krabs: [Krabs reads the compass] That's west, Patrick! You're fired again!