Phylicia Rashad credited as playing...
Clair Huxtable
- Theo Huxtable: [Walks into the Huxtables' bedroom] I want you both to know that I'm really sorry about what Sondra and Elvin did to you.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Well... okay.
- Theo Huxtable: No i mean it. Now you two were thrown a curve. If Sondra had come to you in her senior year of high school and said 'Mom, Dad, I want to open a camping store' you would have been braced for it. But to do it after four years of college was really unfair... and I want you both to know that I would never do that to you.
- Clair Huxtable: Thank you, Theo.
- Theo Huxtable: And that's why I'm telling you now that I am not going to college. I'm going to open up my own business right after I graduate from high school.
- Clair Huxtable: And where are you going to get the money?
- Theo Huxtable: Well that's why I'm here. See all you have to do is give me the money you were going to spend on my college education, now.
- Clair Huxtable: Ah, I see. How much are we talking?
- Theo Huxtable: Well, I brought my calculator and this research so we could figure it out.
- [Hands paperwork to Cliff and sits down next to him on the bed]
- Theo Huxtable: Here you go. Now to go to Bennington College...
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Wait, wait. Bennington is the most expensive school in the United States of America right now!
- Theo Huxtable: Yeah, but you and Mom would have wanted me to go to a top school.
- Clair Huxtable: Of course!
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Yes.
- Theo Huxtable: Good! Now, tuition plus room and board would cost $17,999.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Mm hmm.
- Theo Huxtable: Now multiply that by four years and add a 5% increase each year for inflation. Then add $7,000 for books and lab fees...
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Lab fees?
- Theo Huxtable: [Smiles proudly] I was going to be a chemistry major.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: [Looks at Clair] We would have been proud of him.
- Theo Huxtable: [Smiles and chuckles] Thanks! Now, Bennington College is in Vermont. So we would have to figure in the cost of coming home every weekend.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: [to Clair] He would 'come home every weekend'.
- [Clair grins]
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: He's a good boy.
- Theo Huxtable: That comes to $8,000. Now plus $3,000 for incidentals.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Don't forget askadentals.
- Theo Huxtable: What's an 'askadental'?
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Askadentals is the money you ask for when you mis-spend the incidental money you asked for.
- Theo Huxtable: [Grinning] All right, I like that!
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Mm hmm.
- Theo Huxtable: Okay so we add another $5,000 for... 'askadentals'. Okay so the grand total is $112,500.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Mm hmm - that's pretty steep.
- Clair Huxtable: Yes, it is.
- Theo Huxtable: But! I'm willing to deal here. Now because you two are such great parents, I'm going to take off 18%.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Sounds good.
- Clair Huxtable: Absolutely.
- Theo Huxtable: It does?
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Sure! Now all you have to do is take the college boards and be accepted to Bennington as a chemistry major.
- Theo Huxtable: Tell you what. If I don't get accepted into Bennington, I'll take 50c on the dollar.
- Clair Huxtable: And Theo I'm going to tell you what
- [Cliff laughs]
- Clair Huxtable: If I were you? I would get out of this room while I was ahead and alive.
- Theo Huxtable: [Gets up from the bed nervously] Well can I at least BORROW $3 for some pizza?
- [Cliff and Clair laugh]
- Sondra Huxtable Tibideaux: Mom...
- Clair Huxtable: Yes?
- Sondra Huxtable Tibideaux: I'm not going to law school
- Clair Huxtable: [Trying to be calm] What?
- Sondra Huxtable Tibideaux: I decided not to go to law school
- Clair Huxtable: What do you mean you decided not to go to law school?
- Sondra Huxtable Tibideaux: Well this is our dream. So I'm going to take a temporary job while the Wilderness Store opens then I'll be working side by side with my husband
- Clair Huxtable: Sondra what are you saying? You have always wanted to go to law school, you haven't talked about anything else!
- Sondra Huxtable Tibideaux: I changed my mind
- Clair Huxtable: Change it back! After all that money we spent sending you to Princeton? Sondra, you owe US seventy-nine thousand six hundred and forty-eight dollars and twenty-two cents! And I want my money NOW!
- Clair Huxtable: It's the most exciting time of their lives.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Uh huh, and do you know why? Because they have no children.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: What am I gonna do with him?
- Clair Huxtable: You take him on a long trip in the country and drop him off. No, no, see, he will love it out there in the wilderness.