Marcia Cross credited as playing...
Bree Van De Kamp
- Andrew Van De Kamp: Well, could you live with a woman who hits you?
- Eleanor Mason: Bree!
- Bree: Oh, I slapped him once and he deserved it!
- Andrew Van De Kamp: I just asked her to stop drinking.
- Henry Mason: You were drinking?
- Eleanor Mason: She's in A.A. Her sponsor has long hair.
- Bree: Andrew, I find your concern ironic given how tanked you were when you ran over our neighbor's mother with your car!
- Eleanor Mason: Is she okay?
- Bree: She's dead!
- Andrew Van De Kamp: Well, mom watched as her boyfriend committed suicide. And he was the same guy who killed dad!
- Bree: Andrew falsely accused me of molestation... in a mall!
- [Bree has brought down a box of Andrew's porn]
- Bree Van De Kamp: Oh, dad, I-I forgot to warn you. These are some of Andrew's adult videos. I don't approve, but boys will be boys.
- [Henry files through the box of porn]
- Eleanor Mason: Oh, Henry, stop looking at that filth.
- Henry Mason: I don't get it. Where are the women?
- Eleanor Mason: What are you talking about?
- Henry Mason: This is all just a bunch of... naked men.
- [Eleanor takes the magazine from Henry]
- Eleanor Mason: Sweet mother of God. What the hell are they doing?
- Henry Mason: I don't know, and I don't know what I'm even looking at.
- Eleanor Mason: Henry, this is pornography for ho-homosexuals.
- [Bree enters]
- Bree Van De Kamp: Oh, shoot! I wish you hadn't gone through that. Now we have to have an unpleasant conversation, and we were having such a nice time.
- Henry Mason: Bree, is... is Andrew... gay?
- Bree Van De Kamp: Oh, dad, Andrew hates labels. I'm sure it's just a phase.
- Eleanor Mason: Excuse me, but he has a magazine titled "Leather Daddies in Love." That does not sound like a phase to me.