Gary Anthony Williams credited as playing...
Uncle Ruckus
- [getting ready to perform an exorcism on Tom]
- Uncle Ruckus: Removin' an evil nigga's spirit from a negro is as hard as removin' the stink from a hunk of shit. We must use these tools that the great God has given us to fight niggas.
- [he opens his bag and pulls them out]
- Uncle Ruckus: A whip. A noose. A nightstick. A brandin' iron. These things strike fear into a nigga's heart. A job application.
- [they head upstairs to the room where the possessed Tom is being held]
- Uncle Ruckus: Avoid conversation with the nigga. The nigga will lie. The nigga will make excuses. He will use words he don't really know. If he gets really desperate, he may start to rap or dance.
- [they arrive at the room; Stinkmeaner is cackling and yelling insults from behind the door]
- Colonel H. Stinkmeaner: You all, uh, testicles! And no shaft! What happened to your shaft, Robert? Hahahaha!
- Uncle Ruckus: Aw, yeah. There's powerful niggatry at work here.
- [they open the door and walk in]
- Colonel H. Stinkmeaner: Who in the hell are you?
- Uncle Ruckus: Nigga, my name is Reverend Father Uncle Ruckus... no relation. In the name of white Jesus and all great white men who have come thereafter, I command thy black nigga soul back to the depths of hell!
- [Stinkmeaner roars with laughter]
- Colonel H. Stinkmeaner: Is that all you got, nigga?
- Uncle Ruckus: Aw, naw, nigga. That's just the tip of this iceberg.
- [he pulls out a book, opens it, and holds it up to Tom's face]
- Uncle Ruckus: Read, nigga! Read!
- [Stinkmeaner screams in pain]
- Huey Freeman: This isn't an exorcism - it's a beating.
- Uncle Ruckus: Sometimes there is very little difference.
- [after beating the possessed Tom for hours with no results]
- Huey Freeman: [voiceover] Several hours later, the exorcism of Tom Dubois had made no recognizable progress.
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: [out of breath] Is the nigga still in him?
- Uncle Ruckus: As long as he's black and breathin', he's got nigga in him.
- [Stinkmeaner cackles in delight, but Ruckus slaps him upside the head to shut him up. Ghostface Killah's ghost appears behind Huey]
- Ghostface Killah: Fuck is wrong with you, Huey? You retarded or some shit? You gonna beat the man's brains in, and what you gonna say to the cops? "Sorry, officer, we killed the nigga 'cause he had a evil spirit"?
- Huey Freeman: Ghost, it's late. Can you just tell me what I'm supposed to do so I can go to bed?
- Ghostface Killah: I can't believe you haven't figured this shit out yet. Peace.
- [he disappears]
- Huey Freeman: Peace... peace...
- [he has a sudden idea]
- Huey Freeman: Peace!
- [he runs over to the bed]
- Huey Freeman: Stinkmeaner, you hate black people, don't you?
- Colonel H. Stinkmeaner: I sure do! I mean, I hate everyone in general, but black people especially.
- Huey Freeman: And, and Ruckus, you hate black people too.
- Uncle Ruckus: I wouldn't exactly call 'em "people," but yes, yes, I have a deep distaste for negroes.
- Huey Freeman: Right, right. And Stinkmeaner, I bet you hate rap music.
- Colonel H. Stinkmeaner: If you can call that ol' stanky booty gorilla noise "music."
- Uncle Ruckus: [chuckling] Stanky booty. I must say, that's a brilliant observation, 'Meaner.
- Colonel H. Stinkmeaner: It sure is!
- [they both laugh]
- Huey Freeman: [voiceover] I had forgotten, a nigga moment cannot be resolved through violence. But where there's harmony and peace...
- [Tom's body suddenly contorts]
- Colonel H. Stinkmeaner: What... what's happenin'? No! You tricked me! AAAAAHHHHH!
- [green light erupts from Tom's eyes, ears, and mouth; all the windows in the room shatter as Stinkmeaner's spirit is expelled from Tom's body]
- Huey Freeman: [voiceover] ... a nigga moment cannot exist.