- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Hey, Barn, does the number 13 bother you?
- Deputy Barney Fife: I'm not crazy about it but it don't bother me.
- Deputy Barney Fife: I am not superstitious and who says I believe in chain letters; I just don't mess around with them that's all.
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: Superstition!
- Deputy Barney Fife: Now here's where we come to a matter of terms; you call it superstition, I call it caution!
- Sheriff Andy Taylor: What are you gonna do tonight?
- Deputy Barney Fife: Nothing! Sit around in my room; not much can happen to me there.
- Deputy Barney Fife: What's the matter with you, Norbert? What kind of drivin' you call that anyways? I oughta write you a citation for speedin', reckless drivin', and failure to observe an officer. What's the matter with you? You...
- [turns to Opie]
- Deputy Barney Fife: You better go back inside, Ope. You're a cramp on my language.
- [Opie leaves]
- Deputy Barney Fife: You know what you are, don't you Norbert?