Ed O'Neill credited as playing...
Al Bundy
- Al Bundy: Steve, I'm going to give you a gift. A special gift to make you stop thinking about Marcy. I didn't want to do this until it was absolutely necessary, so sit down. Clear your mind. Think of Marcy. Now, take a look at this photo of... my mother-in-law!
- Steve Rhodes: AHHHHHHHHHH!
- Al Bundy: Everybody says that. Yep, look at her in a two-piece bathing suit, bending over at the beach on the shore of Lake Michigan to pick up her sunglasses. The summer of '71. Notice the perspiration percolating in the folds of her skin. You'll also notice that her upper arms are blurry. Why, you ask? Well, there was a breeze and the camera caught them in mid-flap.
- Al Bundy: Peg, you know those little brown potatoes that Steve makes? Can you do that?
- Peggy Bundy: Al, you know about making love for an hour and a half like Steve does? Can you do that?
- Al Bundy: Burger King?
- Al Bundy: Well, how did you get the stove to work? Peg said it's been broken for months!
- Steve Rhodes: Nah, I checked it out. Somebody just cut the cord.
- Peggy Bundy: I think I have a picture of Marcy, last summer, washing the car. You know, when she got her t-shirt wet. And you said something about taking her for a little spin, but you didn't use the car. You know, *that* picture.
- Steve Rhodes: I'm shaving, Al. I've never seen a t-shirt that wet.
- Al Bundy: Sit down, Steve.
- Steve Rhodes: I can't, Al.