Seth MacFarlane credited as playing...
Peter Griffin • Brian Griffin • Stewie Griffin • Glenn Quagmire • Tom Tucker • Yogi Bear • Teenager • Ghost Whisperer Actor • Driver • Sloth • Bill Pullman • Tim • Toilet
- Man: Dude, this car kicks ass, and I can watch Madagascar while I'm driving.
- Alex the Lion: What kind of music do you like, Gloria?
- Gloria the Hippo: Hippo-hop. WOOHOO! Yeah, baby!
- Man: Dude, those animals are so fucking funny they make me wanna merge without looking!
- [merges and causes a fiery pile-up behind him]
- Man: Yeah, Rumsfeld!
- Stewie Griffin: [there is a heat wave in Quahog] Brian, spit on me.
- Brian Griffin: [spits on Stewie]
- Stewie Griffin: Yes, now tell me I'm scum.
- Brian Griffin: [pause] How's that going to help cool you off?
- Stewie Griffin: Huh?
- Joe Swanson: [checking his mail] Oh, great. It's here. That mirror I bought on eBay.
- [unwrapping and holding the mirror up, he sees Peter's tank behind him]
- Joe Swanson: OH, MY GOD!
- [rolling away as fast as he can]
- Joe Swanson: AHHH! AHHH! AHHH! AHHH!
- [he bails from his chair, and the tank runs over his legs]
- Peter Griffin: Joe, my god. What happened?
- Joe Swanson: You just ran over me, you bastard! I don't know where you got that thing, but I'm impounding it!
- Peter Griffin: [giggling] Look at you. You look like a half-empty toothpaste.
- Peter Griffin: Who's sober enough to drive?
- Peter Griffin: OK, who's drunk, but that special kind of drunk, that you're a better driver because you know you're drunk. You know the kinda drunk that you probably shouldn't drive but you do anyway, because... come on, you gotta get a car home, right, I mean what do they expect me to do? Take a bus? Is that what they want? For me to take a bus? Well screw that! You take a bus!
- Cleveland: I'm that kind of drunk.
- TV Announcer: We now return to Showgirls...
- Peter Griffin: Yeah!
- TV Announcer: -on TBS.
- Peter Griffin: Aww.
- Peter Griffin: [after receiving news that he's being laid off] Man, this sucks worse than Easter Sunday at Richard Gere's house.
- [flashback to Peter and Richard Gere standing outside. An Easter egg is lying on the ground in front of Peter]
- Richard Gere: Okay, find the Easter egg.
- Peter Griffin: I know where it is. It's in your butt!
- Richard Gere: No.
- Peter Griffin: Yeah... I know the story. It's in your butt!
- Richard Gere: Mr. Griffin, if you'd just look on the ground for five seconds, I'm sure you'd find it.
- Peter Griffin: Nope, in your butt!
- Richard Gere: Look, I'm tired of this stupid rumor!
- Peter Griffin: In your butt!
- Richard Gere: Mr. Griffin...
- Peter Griffin: [interrupting] Butt!
- Richard Gere: Mr. Griffin...
- Peter Griffin: [interrupting] Butt!
- Richard Gere: You know what? Just get the hell out of here!
- Peter Griffin: Fine! Weirdo!
- [a rodent crawls out from Richard Gere's pant legs, grabs the Easter Egg, and runs back into the pant legs]
- Lois Griffin: So, how was work today Meg?
- Peter Griffin: [blows raspberry]
- Lois Griffin: Ugh, Peter, you lost your job because of a superstore, you shouldn't blame Meg.
- Peter Griffin: [blows raspberry]
- Lois Griffin: And you can stop making that fart sound every time someone says "Meg".
- Peter Griffin: [blows raspberry]
- Brian Griffin: So, how was your day exploiting the town's resources Meg?
- Peter Griffin: [blows raspberry]
- Chris Griffin: Hahahahaha! MEG!
- Peter Griffin: [blows raspberry]
- Chris Griffin: MEGGGGGG!
- Peter Griffin: [blows longer raspberry]
- Chris Griffin: MEG! MEG! MEG! MEG! MEG! MEG! MEG!
- Peter Griffin: [blows 7 raspberries]
- Chris Griffin: [quietly] Meg.
- Peter Griffin: [blows quieter raspberry]
- Tom Tucker: We now go live to Ollie Williams with the weather report. How are you beating the heat, Ollie?
- Ollie Williams: Swimmin' hole!
- Peter Griffin: My daughter's looking for a car that goes with her personality.
- Stewie Griffin: Yes, are the new bulemic cutting mobiles in yet?