Lisa Edelstein: Dr. Lisa Cuddy

Lines in the Sand

Dr. Lisa Cuddy

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [talking about the 17-year-old who has a crush on House] Your girlfriend called the clinic 15 times looking for you today.
Dr. Gregory House: Huh. Lot to discuss. China patterns...
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: House. She's a stalker.
Dr. Gregory House: Right. Couldn't be that she finds me interesting, attractive. Has to be that she's insane.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: She's called you 15 times. Your mother's not that interested in you.
Dr. Gregory House: Well, maybe I'd be better adjusted if she was.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I'm notifying security.
Dr. Gregory House: Is this about the carpet? Do you think I'll back off if you block all my fun?
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You better not be having fun.
Dr. Gregory House: I'm having fun. I'm not having sex.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: She's dangerous.
Dr. Gregory House: She's not dangerous.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: She's pretty.
Dr. Gregory House: She's pretty.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Men are stupid.
Dr. Gregory House: I'm with you so far.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I'm notifying security.
Dr. Gregory House: Give her a break. She's not dangerous, she's ... insightful.
[as Cuddy steps into a meeting, he yells:]
Dr. Gregory House: You can't stop our love!
[Cuddy looks embarrassed]

Dr. Gregory House: [His 'stalker' has just left, but not before glancing over her shoulder at House and smiling. House turns to Cuddy] After that look, I'm feeling a little frisky. Looks like you're up.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I'm ovulating. Let's go.
Dr. Gregory House: The frisky, it went away.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: House, this isn't a game.
[Starts to walk away]
Dr. Gregory House: If I leave her alone, can I have my carpet back?
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: No.
Dr. Gregory House: If I forget about my carpet, can I have her?

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [Trying to convince House his stalker hit on her] She has a mole on her right breast just below the nipple.
Dr. Gregory House: No she doesn't.

Dr. James Wilson: [to Cuddy about House] Don't you think the restraining order's a little much? He's not actually going to have sex with a seventeen-year-old patient.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I didn't think he was going to ask me to dig a blood-stained carpet out of a dumpster either.
Dr. James Wilson: It might be easier in the long run.
[stops at the landing at the stairs]
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Are we stopping here so House doesn't find us?
Dr. James Wilson: Unless you want to make out?

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [Worried because House hasn't discouraged his teenage stalker] You've seen her breasts?
Dr. Gregory House: It was a medical exam. I was listening to her heart. It went, "Greg-House, Greg-House, Greg-House."

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: House doesn't have Asperger's. The diagnosis is much simpler. He's a jerk.
Dr. James Wilson: Why do you think he took this case? Because he believes these parents? Because he wants to help a young boy? He sees himself in this kid, and he's trying to help himself... He doesn't want this, he needs it.

Dr. Gregory House: [House bursts into Cuddy's office while she's on the phone] I want my old carpet back.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [into the phone] Uh, we're gonna have to do this later.
[glares at House]
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: A kid in the clinic had an accident.
[hangs up]
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Generally when people are on the phone...
Dr. Gregory House: I want my old carpet back.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: It was stained with blood.
Dr. Gregory House: Yeah, my blood which makes the carpet part of me. I want it back. I want to be buried with it.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You think you can get me to do anything you want, regardless of how stupid it is?
Dr. Gregory House: It's my office. It's where I work, where I think, where I save lives, allowing you to brag to rich people, so they'll give you more money to spend on MRI's and low-cut tops. I want it back the way it was.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: It's identical to the old carpet. Except without the hazardous biological waste.
Dr. Gregory House: I shall not return to my office until every patented durable micro-fiber has been restored to its rightful place.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [sarcastically] Inspiring. If you won't work in your office, work in the clinic. If you don't want to work in the clinic, go home and don't get paid.
Dr. Gregory House: [starts hitting his cane loudly against the floor] Attica! Attica! Attica! Attica! Attica!
[Cuddy just stares at House]
Dr. Gregory House: Attica?