Bill Owen credited as playing...
Compo
- Foggy Dewhurst: It's sad to see the place in this condition.
- Compo Simmonite: What are you talking about? Old railway sheds were always in this condition. Tat!
- Foggy Dewhurst: Listen who's talking about being tat.
- Compo Simmonite: They were built in this condition.
- Norman Clegg: He could be right, Foggy.
- Foggy Dewhurst: Who builds places in this condition?
- Norman Clegg: Your local authorities mostly. It's called progress. It used to take years to build a slum, and nowadays they're building them practically ready-to-wear.
- [last lines]
- Compo Simmonite: I'm glad that's all over.
- Norman Clegg: Me, too.
- Foggy Dewhurst: It'll be a long time before I go near another steam engine.
- [Foggy bursts into the house, repeatedly blowing a whistle and furiously waving a green flag]
- Compo Simmonite: Look at that dozy pillock. What's he supposed to be?
- Norman Clegg: Looks like a taxi driver.
- Foggy Dewhurst: A taxi driver? What, with a whistle and a flag?
- Norman Clegg: A lion tamer.
- Compo Simmonite: For deaf lions.
- Compo Simmonite: A lollipop man. That's what he is.
- Foggy Dewhurst: [scornfully] Get on your feet. Come on, it's train time. Wake up, that man. We'll just be in time for the Grand Opening.
- Compo Simmonite: [sings gleefully] We're gonna see a puffer train!
- Foggy Dewhurst: [proudly] Yes you are. And you'll be grateful. You're about to see a *steam engine*. A steam engine, *lovingly* restored. The official re-opening of the line, and we can be part of it. We can be among the passengers on this first *historic* journey.
- Norman Clegg: As long as we don't have to walk.
- [Foggy, Compo and Clegg are waiting to catch a glimpse of the steam engine. Foggy is proud; Compo and Clegg are distinctly underwhelmed]
- Foggy Dewhurst: Can't you work up a bit of enthusiasm? Can't you feel your spine tingling with pride?
- Compo Simmonite: I can feel the ache in me spine from all that walking.
- Norman Clegg: Mine's in my knee. I can feel my knee stiff with pride.
- Norman Clegg: It's no good, Foggy. It's too dangerous.
- Foggy Dewhurst: Oh, what's life without a spice of danger?
- Compo Simmonite: Longer!