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Tricky TV (2005)

Stephen Mulhern: Self - Presenter

Episode #1.8

Tricky TV

Stephen Mulhern credited as playing...

Self - Presenter

Quotes2

  • Stephen Mulhern: It's the moment you've all been waiting for. Holly Willoughby has agreed to be beheaded by guillotine.
  • [Holly is standing beside Stephen in a black shoulder-less dress and stiletto heels]
  • Stephen Mulhern: How are you feeling, Holly?
  • Holly Willoughby: A bit nervous, Stephen. I can't believe I'm doing this.
  • [She smiles nervously]
  • Holly Willoughby: What's going to happen?
  • Stephen Mulhern: First, we need to slip off your dress.
  • [He moves behind her]
  • Stephen Mulhern: That way, everyone can see it really is your lovely body on the guillotine. Here, let me help you.
  • [Stephen pulls down the zip her her dress]
  • Stephen Mulhern: There we go.
  • Holly Willoughby: I wouldn't want people thinking it wasn't me.
  • [the dress sags, baring her breasts, and showing she's wearing only black thong panties]
  • Holly Willoughby: And I guess I won't need it after this.
  • Stephen Mulhern: No, you won't need it anymore.
  • [He helps her step out of the dress]
  • Stephen Mulhern: You have lovely boobs, Holly.
  • Holly Willoughby: Thank you!
  • [Grins]
  • Holly Willoughby: Well, now they can see it really is me being beheaded.
  • Stephen Mulhern: Let's go out onto the stage.
  • [Placing a hand on her shoulder, Stephen leads Holly out onto the stage, towards the guillotine]
  • Stephen Mulhern: Here it is - the guillotine you're going to be beheaded by.
  • Holly Willoughby: [Eyeing the sharp blade] I'm not sure about this...
  • Stephen Mulhern: Don't worry, it'll all be over soon.
  • [Raises the board of the guillotine upright]
  • Holly Willoughby: That's what I'm afraid of!
  • [She fidgets nervously, still looking at the blade of the guillotine]
  • Holly Willoughby: What's next?
  • Stephen Mulhern: We need to make sure you stay still.
  • [Holds up handcuffs]
  • Stephen Mulhern: We need to slip these on.
  • Holly Willoughby: [Nervously holding her hands behind her back to be restrained] Wow... I guess I'm not going anywhere.
  • [Stephen cinches the cuffs, pats her bottom, and takes hold of her thong]
  • Stephen Mulhern: Nope. And let's slip this off too.
  • [He tugs down, pulling her thong off]
  • Stephen Mulhern: Just step out of that.
  • [as Holly steps out of it, he tossed it aside]
  • Stephen Mulhern: Lovely.
  • [Giving her bottom a pat, he guides Holly to stand against the upright board]
  • Stephen Mulhern: Next, we strap you into place.
  • Holly Willoughby: This must be how Marie Antoinette felt!
  • [Stephen buckles three leather straps across Holly's back, bottom, and knees, holding her in place]
  • Holly Willoughby: It won't hurt, will it?
  • Stephen Mulhern: Don't worry, I've done this lots of times before. Nobody ever complained afterwards.
  • [He laughs]
  • Stephen Mulhern: Now you're all secured, we can lower you into position for your beheading.
  • [Stephen takes hold of the board that Holly is strapped to and tilts it forward, dropping her into position below the blade, and closes the stock around her neck]
  • Holly Willoughby: Oh,!
  • [Staring down into the basket in front of her]
  • Holly Willoughby: This is getting really scary!
  • Stephen Mulhern: It should be Holly - you are about to be beheaded, after all.
  • Holly Willoughby: Oh!
  • [Gulps, hands fidgeting]
  • Holly Willoughby: I think I might be changing my mind.
  • Stephen Mulhern: Too late for that.
  • [He pats her bottom]
  • Stephen Mulhern: You agreed to this.
  • Holly Willoughby: I did.
  • [Holly's cuffed hands fidget]
  • Holly Willoughby: Will it be quick?
  • Stephen Mulhern: It will be very quick.
  • [Rubbing her bottom]
  • Stephen Mulhern: Are you ready?
  • Holly Willoughby: Just give me a moment to make my peace.
  • [She closes her eyes. The camera shows her naked body strapped to the guillotine, Stephen rubbing her bum]
  • Stephen Mulhern: [after a few moments, Stephen takes hold of the rope that releases the blade] You're nude, restrained, and about to be decapitated. How does it feel to know you are about to be behead?
  • Holly Willoughby: It's scary, but very exciting.
  • [Grins]
  • Holly Willoughby: Shame I can only do it once.
  • Stephen Mulhern: Holly Marie Willoughby, are you ready to be decapitated?
  • Holly Willoughby: Yes... I'm ready.
  • Stephen Mulhern: Then count us down, Holly
  • Holly Willoughby: 3... 2... 1...
  • [Stephen pulls the rope and the blade falls, slamming home into the stocks around Holly's neck with a loud bang. As it does so, Holly's head drops and tumbles into the basket, leaving her now-headless body strapped to the board]
  • Holly Willoughby: [Holly's hands clench and then go limp; her feet kick, and one of her stiletto heels falls off]
  • Stephen Mulhern: A big round of applause for Headless Holly Willoughby!
  • [Stephen winks to the camera, and walks off stage, leaving Holly's headless naked body in full view]
  • Stephen Mulhern: Coming up: My special guest Holly WIlloughby agrees to be decapitated with a genuine French guillotine.

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