Jane Seymour credited as playing...
Professor Lewis
- [in Barney's hospital room]
- Professor Lewis: Mr. Eriksen, hello. Oh, I graded your paper tonight. I was
- [looking at the injured Barney]
- Professor Lewis: pleasantly surprised.
- Barney Stinson: Yeah, she was.
- Professor Lewis: B+.
- Barney Stinson: B+? Marshal, after I've gone through my eight weeks of physiotherapy, I am gonna get you that A.
- Marshall Eriksen: Let her go. She belongs out there. In the wild. You should feel proud. You fought the cougar... and lived.
- Barney Stinson: It was an amazing safari. I can't wait to show you guys the slides.
- Barney Stinson: I can't stop thinking about you. Please give me another chance.
- Professor Lewis: Barney, I teach all day. It's the last thing I wanna do when I get home.
- Barney Stinson: But you don't understand. See, I've been going easy on you. Holding back 'cause I was afraid you'd break a hip or something. This time, no mercy. I don't care how long it takes, days, weeks, half a year.
- Professor Lewis: Fine, come in. You can start while I finish grading some papers.
- Barney Stinson: I think I'm falling in love with you.
- Professor Lewis: Oh, God, that wasn't your first time, was it? Although that would explain a lot.
- Barney Stinson: No, we had sex yesterday.
- Professor Lewis: Oh, right, that. Well, you had sex yesterday. I revised my syllabus for the spring semester.
- Barney Stinson: C-? What are you talking about? I pulled an all-nighter.
- Professor Lewis: You didn't budget your time well. You glossed over some of the most important points. And your oral presentation was sloppy and inconclusive.
- Barney Stinson: [in Italian accent] Scusi. I am Luigi, Italian exchange student. I was, um, walking to class, but then I notice you, bella principessa.
- Professor Lewis: Tell me what you want and get out.
- Barney Stinson: Direct, I like that. The name's Barney. What I want... is you.
- Professor Lewis: Turn around.
- [after Barney turns around]
- Professor Lewis: My place, two hours, don't be tardy.