Josh Radnor credited as playing...
Ted Mosby
- Narrator: [about the game Shing Hasabu Shing] Now, I had been to a lot of casinos before that night, and I've been to a lot of casinos since, but in all that time I've never seen a game quite like this one. To this day, I have no idea how it was played. But luckily, Barney did.
- Lily Aldrin: Do you understand what's happening?
- Ted Mosby: Not a clue.
- Robin Scherbatsky: Do you think he's winning?
- Ted Mosby: I don't even know if he's playing.
- Marshall Eriksen: Wait, I get it. I understand this game.
- Ted Mosby: No, you don't.
- Marshall Eriksen: I totally understand the game, Theodore. Barney, split your tiles. You can triple your money if you find the jellybean.
- Barney Stinson: Marshall, please. Don't you think I know what I'm... My God, you're right.
- Marshall Eriksen: I don't get it. Hundreds of people get married in Atlantic City all the time.
- Registrar: Yes, but not to elope. They come for the white, sandy beaches, world-class amenities and Riviera-like ambience.
- Lily Aldrin: Are you kidding me? Have you been outside?
- Ted Mosby: There is half a rotting orca whale not ten feet from our room.
- Barney Stinson: All right, let's talk bachelor party. Are we thinking full-on strip club, or should we rent a room and have a private toy show?
- Ted Mosby: What did you just say?
- Marshall Eriksen: Barney, no.
- Barney Stinson: Marshall, I'm your best man.
- Marshall Eriksen: You're not my best man.
- Ted Mosby: Right here.
- Barney Stinson: And as your best man, I have to throw you a bachelor party. That's part of being a best friend.
- Marshall Eriksen: You're not my best friend.
- Ted Mosby: Right here.
- Barney Stinson: [after Barney reveals to the judge that Marshall and Lily broke up over the summer] What? We're under oath.
- Ted Mosby: No, we're not.
- Barney Stinson: Yeah, we are. He's a judge.
- Ted Mosby: Wh - Did we take an oath? Do you even know what an oath is?
- Barney Stinson: Uh, yeah. Courthouse. Oath. We're under it.