Ricky Schroder credited as playing...
Ricky Stratton
- Edward Stratton III: Movies like that reduce lovemaking to purely physical, mechanical acts - and in my opinion, they put down women, treat them like mindless sex objects.
- Ricky Stratton: Why do we get these movies on *our* TV?
- Edward Stratton III: Well, it comes with the cable service. I ordered the cable service because I want to see recent movies without commercials - and to my surprise, they, they also broadcast these skin flicks. See, I have no choice; I want to watch a decent movie, when I just have to order these sleazy movies at the same time... Are you buying this?
- Ricky Stratton: You're a grownup; I guess you can watch whatever you want.
- Edward Stratton III: Yes, I can, son - but I don't choose to watch movies like this. And until you're old enough to make your own decisions, I won't allow you to watch them either.
- Freddy Lippincottleman: Is it time to go to sleep?
- Ricky Stratton: Freddy, when you're sleeping over at a buddy's house, the last thing you do is actually sleep.
- J.T. Martin: Rick, we just *got* to see "Naked Nurses from Outer Space".
- Ricky Stratton: We can't, J.T.
- J.T. Martin: Why not?
- Ricky Stratton: When my dad ordered the cable service, he had them put in a parental keylock device.
- J.T. Martin: A parental what?
- Ricky Stratton: This thing. Keeps kids like us from watching adults-only type stuff.
- Freddy Lippincottleman: Boy, what a gyp!
- J.T. Martin: Yeah - personally, I'm opposed to censorship.
- Ricky Stratton: Me, too - especially when it comes to the work of important actresses like Candi Apple and Cinnamon Toast.
- Ricky Stratton: Why isn't she wearing any clothes?
- J.T. Martin: Because the doctor's giving her an examination.
- Ricky Stratton: Okay... so why isn't the doctor wearing any clothes?
- J.T. Martin: Well, you see, I think that has something to do with us not being allowed to watch this.
- Ricky Stratton: Me and the guys were joking around about it, but deep inside I was saying to myself, "Eh, this is kind of gross" - and watching something gross is pretty, you know, yucky.
- Edward Stratton III: Yeah, I do know - that's what's the matter with movies like that. See, son, lovemaking should be a beautiful, emotional and private moment, between two people who really care about each other.
- Edward Stratton III: Uh, son, you forgot to give me back my keys.
- Ricky Stratton: Would you believe I lost it?
- Edward Stratton III: Another nice try.
- [holds out his hand]
- Ricky Stratton: [drops the keys into his dad's hand] Thanks.
- Edward Stratton III: You're welcome.
- [last lines]
- J.T. Martin: Gentlemen, I hold in my hand the key, to X-stacy.
- Ricky Stratton: J.T., my dad's bedroom is right next to us! He's going to hear the T.V.
- J.T. Martin: Hey, buddy - I just did a tango with death and won; I'm watching me some Naked Nurses.
- Edward Stratton III: Ricky, before I went to bed, I locked both televisions - so if you watched that movie, you must've taken my keys... oh, so *that's* why you boys pulled that arm wrestling stunt.
- Ricky Stratton: There's a connection.
- Ricky Stratton: Dad, can I ask you a question?
- Edward Stratton III: Please.
- Ricky Stratton: I really wanted to see that movie tonight. Does that make me a... um, you know, a bad person?
- Edward Stratton III: No, son - it makes you a curious person. And it's perfectly normal; after all, it was only a few months ago I told you about the birds and the bees, and it's perfectly normal you might actually want to see... a bird, with a... with a bee.
- Ricky Stratton: This movie had a Venusian nurse, and a doctor - except I don't think he was a real doctor.
- Edward Stratton III: Oh?
- Ricky Stratton: He had a battleship tattooed on his chest.
- Kate Summers: Ricky, when your father finds out about this, he's gonna be very disappointed in you.
- Ricky Stratton: ...You're right, Kate. You're absolutely right... so we're gonna have to spare him this disappointment.
- Kate Summers: It's the right thing to do - and it's honest.
- Ricky Stratton: Maybe. But aside from that, it's a pretty flimsy idea.
- Ricky Stratton: [Kate catches the boys watching the movie] KATE!
- Freddy Lippincottleman: Kate's in this, too?
- Kate Summers: Ricky, what is going on here?
- Ricky Stratton: Well, you see, Nurse Toast is getting a check-up from the doctor...
- Kate Summers: That's not what I meant.
- Edward Stratton III: How long do you think you should be grounded?
- Ricky Stratton: I'd kind of like to get out of the house in time for college.
- Edward Stratton III: Son, here's the story. We're gonna go to the circus tomorrow as planned. I want to talk to J.T. and Freddy about tonight. But as soon as we get home, and from that moment on, you are grounded for two weeks. And there will be no television for one month.
- Ricky Stratton: A month?... Is fair.
- Ricky Stratton: Thanks for talking to me about this.
- Edward Stratton III: Well, thanks for listening.
- Ricky Stratton: And thanks for being so open.
- Edward Stratton III: And thanks for coming to me and telling me about it.
- Ricky Stratton: And thanks for not grounding me.
- Edward Stratton III: Nice try, Rick.