Amy Poehler credited as playing...
Computer
- Computer: Your busted, tired dance moves are no match for my security protocols.
- Susan Murphy: We can't hold them off much longer!
- Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.: There's one thing you don't know about me, my dear. My PhD is in... dance!
- Gallaxhar: Finally, I can rebuild my civilization on a new planet. Any thoughts on where I should set up shop? Your planet, perhaps?
- Susan Murphy: You keep your slimy tentacles off my planet...
- Gallaxhar: [grabs Susan with one of his tentacles] If you wanted to stop me, you should have done it when you possessed the quantonium. Now you're nothing.
- Susan Murphy: There're innocent people down there, who didn't do anything!
- Gallaxhar: [throws Susan down to the ground] There were innocent people on my home planet, before it was destroyed.
- Susan Murphy: Look, I'm sorry your planet was destroyed.
- Gallaxhar: Oh, don't be. I'm the one who destroyed it. Confused? After I reveal my tale to you, everything will become crystal clear. Computer, initialize cloning machine!
- Computer: Yes, Gallaxhar.
- [Gallaxhar gets on the machine]
- Gallaxhar: Many zentons ago, when I was but a squidling, I found out my parents were...
- [machine closes; after a moment, it opens again]
- Gallaxhar: No child should ever have to endure that! So I went on the road, with a giant...
- [machine closes and opens again]
- Gallaxhar: ...and soon thereafter was married! Things were going well, until she wanted to...
- [machine closes and opens again]
- Gallaxhar: ...and then I was all "no way!", and she was all "yes way!", and I was like...
- [machine closes and opens again]
- Gallaxhar: But I've told you too much already. Let the birth of my new planet, now called... Gallaxhar's Planet, begin!
- Computer: [Gallaxhar drinks a hot liquid like tea through his ear and spits it out his mouth in pain] Careful, it's hot.
- Computer: Begin reanimation sequence.
- Gallaxhar: Who dares to wake me?
- Computer: Quantonium has been located on a distant planet in the Omega quadrant.
- Gallaxhar: The Omega quandrant? Lame.
- Computer: The trajectory of the quantonium meteor has been traced to sector 72-4, a planet locally known as Earth.
- Gallaxhar: What a miserable-looking mudball. Send a robot probe. Extract the quantonium with extreme prejudice. I want it all. Every last drop.
- Computer: Yes, Gallaxhar.
- Gallaxhar: Nothing can stand in my way now.
- Gallaxhar: Are you crazy? You could have killed me!
- Susan Murphy: Then we understand each other. Now open the doors and let my friends go.
- Gallaxhar: Or what? You don't actually think you're a match for me, do you?
- Computer: Quantonium has been successfully diverted to the bridge. Escape capsule ready for transport.
- Gallaxhar: Like I told you before, you should have defeated me when you had the quantonium. Have fun exploding.