Matt Chapman credited as playing...
Homestar Runner • Strong Bad • Strong Mad • Strong Sad • The Cheat • Coach Z • Bubs • The King of Town • Homsar • Additional Voices • Self
- [Marzipan has started her own rock band and Strong Mad and The Cheat have joined. She calls her band "Cool Tapes", named after the words Homestar wrote on the wall. They perform the band's theme song, with her on lead guitar, Strong Mad on bass and The Cheat on drums]
- Marzipan: One! Two! Three! Four!
- [singing]
- Marzipan: Cool tapes are cool, 'cause they're where it is at / Cool tapes are cool, and we like it like that / Cool tapes / Cool tapes / We like to get it down with the cool, cool tapes / We like to get down with...
- [stops singing]
- Marzipan: Um... um...
- Homestar Runner: A bag of four grapes?
- Marzipan: [resumes singing] A bag of four grapes!
- [singing to the tune of "O Christmas Tree." While The Cheat, Pom Pom, and the Poopsmith stand by, they don't do actual singing]
- Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, Strong Mad, Coach Z, Bubs, Marzipan, The King of Town: Decemberween, Decemberween, you're 55 days after Halloween! Decemberween, Decemberween, you're 55 days after Halloween!
- Marzipan: With bunnies running for their lives.
- The King of Town: I wish this one was supersized.
- Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, Strong Mad, Coach Z, Bubs, Marzipan, The King of Town: Decemberween, Decemberween, you're 55 days after Halloween! Decemberween, Decemberween, you're 55 days after Halloween!
- Strong Sad: What are you guys talking about?
- Strong Bad: Hey, who the crap let Strong Sad out?
- Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, Strong Mad, Coach Z, Bubs, Marzipan, The King of Town: Decemberween, Decemberween, you're 55 days after Halloween! Decemberween, Decemberween, you're 55 days after Halloween!
- Bubs: I got all kinds of crazy crap!
- Homestar Runner: I bought Strong Bad a "Deep Impact"!
- Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, Strong Mad, Coach Z, Bubs, Marzipan, The King of Town: Decemberween, Decemberween...
- Homestar Runner: Coach Z's been drinking Listerine!
- Homestar Runner: Hey Strong Bad, I really like your costume. The Spanish Inquisition? That's great.
- Strong Bad: Look, for the last time, I'm not The Spanish Inquisition, I'm not Cab Calloway, and I'm not Strong Bad wearing a yellow turtleneck! I'm Carmen freakin' Sandiego!
- Marzipan: I like Cab Calloway.
- Strong Bad: Okay, Poopsmith, that's the worst costume I ever saw. I mean, you're *Lazer Tag*? What, are you supposed to be dressed up as the product? Or is it more abstract than that, like you're supposed to be the concept of Lazer Tag? Come on man, you know you just found that old crap in a trunk in your basement.
- The King of Town: Ease off, Strong Bad! He's not the one that dressed up as a *girl* two years in a row.
- Strong Bad: Oh ho ho ho, you asked for it, King.
- [Strong Mad punches The King of Town]
- Marzipan: What's wrong with girls?
- Bubs: Did any of you guys go to that house that was giving out change? I changed my costume and went back ten times. I made 35 dollars!
- Strong Sad: Did you guys go to that house where they let you into this big room and there's all these people wearing black hoods and they ask you these questions about life and existence and if you answer them wrong you get eternal damnation, but if you answer them right you get a Twizzler?
- Strong Bad: Um, no.
- Homestar Runner: No.
- Coach Z: Nope.
- The King of Town: No.
- Bubs: Nope.
- The Cheat: [a The Cheat noise that means, "No."]
- Strong Mad: No.
- Marzipan: No.
- Strong Sad: Oh, never mind.
- Marzipan: I like your costume, Strong Sad, but you weren't invited this year.
- Coach Z: Say, Pom Pom, check out this funky bass groove: a doo'rear, a doo'ri, a doo'rear, a doo'ri!
- [He grooves around a little]
- Homestar Runner: I really have to pee.
- Strong Bad: Yeah, and the Poopsmith's not smelling any rosier, neither.
- Homestar Runner: Oh, oh, I've got an idea! Let's totally freak 'em out. Let's repeat the stuff that we just said! Hey, Strong Bad, I really like your costume. The Spanish Inquisition? That's great...
- [Strong Bad opens his Decemberween present from Homestar]
- Strong Bad: What! A "Deep Impact" DVD? You got me this for like the last three years, man!
- Homestar Runner: I know, and you liked it so much, I decided to get it for you again.
- Marzipan: [on answering machine] Hi, this is Marzipan. Please leave me a message.
- Strong Bad: [leaving a message] Oh, hey Marzipan. Have you seen The Cheat? Because we can't find him anywhere. Anyways, this is Strong Bad and...
- [Strong Bad then stammers and clears his throat, talking like Homestar, only very poorly]
- Strong Bad: I mean, this is Homestar... Runner. Oh, Marzipan, I killed Pom Pom! Yeah, we were playing badminton in his yard and I got mad and I killed him! Oh, no, I need your help burying his body.
- [He starts laughing in a stifled way]
- Strong Bad: Uh, bring some towels and some garbage bags. This is Homestar.
- Gunhaver: The brain is divided into two halves: the good half and the evil half. The good half likes positive things, like self-esteem, Oreo cheesecake, bringing your old man a cold one, and all our playsets and toys. But the evil half likes littering, loitering, latering, lootering, and all the other stuff that causes inappropriate peer-to-teen choice behaviors!
- [Strong Bad approaches Marzipan wearing oven mitts]
- Strong Bad: Hey, Marzipan!
- Marzipan: Oh, hi, Strong Bad. Are those my oven mitts?
- Strong Bad: What? No! These are my training gloves... probably. Anyways, I heard Homestar's getting you the Yello Dello for your birthday.
- Marzipan: Yello Dello?
- Strong Bad: You wanna know what I got you?
- Marzipan: My oven mitts?
- Strong Bad: NOTHING!
- [Homestar awakens from sleeping and looks at the clock, then the window, where it's night out and it's snowing]
- Homestar Runner: Oh, crap, I set the alarm for 10 PM instead of AM again! I was supposed to go Decemberween shopping today!
- [He looks at his calendar, the current date reading December 25]
- Homestar Runner: Oh, crap, it's Decemberween already!
- [He leaps out of bed and accidentally collides with the closed door]
- Homestar Runner: Oh, crap, I ran into the door!
- [He opens the door and falls down the stairs to crashing noises]
- Homestar Runner: Oh, crap, I fell down the stairs.
- [He finally makes it out the front door, naked; he groans]
- Homestar Runner: And now, I ran out of the house naked somehow.
- [Smiling]
- Homestar Runner: Ooh, but it IS snowing.
- Homestar Runner: Strong Bad! The good times are over! I swallowed your computer!
- Strong Bad: You WHAT?
- Homestar Runner: Oh, I mean a small bug. I swallowed a small bug.
- Strong Bad: Aw, now my head's not taped to the TV!
- Homestar Runner: Strong Bad, I really need your help.
- Strong Bad: And I really need to find out who shot Caleb Rentpayer!
- Homestar Runner: Oh, that's easy. I did.
- Strong Bad: You what?
- Tucksworth: Homestar Runner, did you shoot Caleb?
- Homestar Runner: [appears on the TV wearing sunglasses] I sure did!
- Strong Bad: You traitor! You shot my favorite TV show!
- [punches Homestar]
- Homestar Runner: [hiccups the bug] Hey, look at that. A small guy. A bug did fly in my mouth!
- Strong Bad: Oh, the good times are definitely over.
- [Strong Sad runs in wearing blue boxer shorts]
- Strong Sad: The world is saved! I found the bluue onnes!
- [Strong Bad comes to the House that Gave Sucky Treats dressed as Carmen Sandiego]
- Strong Bad: Where in the world is my candy?
- [the player gives him an apple]
- Strong Bad: What is *this* crap? What are you, a dentist? Or a hippie? Or some kind of hippie dentist?
- Narrator, "That Time of Year": Snow falls from the 'bove. It's cold when it snows.
- [Strong Bad uses pen to alter the book]
- Strong Bad: Now, a million eyeballs fall from the 'bove. The boy gets financial advice from the rat king. Or...
- [redraws and rewrites]
- Strong Bad: Show the future, magic ball! It burns flesh when it glows.
- Narrator, "That Time of Year": Greta is baking cookies. When will they be done?
- [Strong Bad makes Greta look Goth and hold a can of bug spray]
- Strong Bad: Greta is feeding the mouse bug spray. When will he be done for?
- Narrator, "That Time of Year": Decemberween is here. Decemberween is here. Today.
- [Strong Bad draws and writes over the book]
- Strong Bad: Radioactivity is here. Growing arms out of heads is here. Today. Or...
- [Draws himself into the story]
- Strong Bad: I am here stealing your presents. Sorry, kids. Today is not your lucky day.
- Reynold: How do I keep from making peer-to-teen choice awards, Gunhaver?
- Gunhaver: If you find yourself in a sticky "teenage situation", just remember these three pro-positive life tools.
- [Silent Rip and a Blue Laser minion are shown in a classroom, taking a test]
- Blue Laser Minion: What you get for number four, sir?
- Silent Rip: Uh...
- Gunhaver: [cutting in, pausing the scene] FREEZE! Pro-positive life tool number one: say you have one of any debilitating Gold Rush-era diseases.
- Blue Laser Minion: Come on, man. I thought we were bros!
- Silent Rip: I can't. I have the typhoid. Or the cholera!
- Blue Laser Minion: Never mind. Your answers are gross, bro.
- Reynold: Gold Rush-era diseases, eh?
- Gunhaver: Now you're getting it!
- [Strong Bad throws a marshmallow roast to compete with Marzipan's meatless luau. He tries to light a stack of firewood on fire with some matches, but for some reason, the firewood refuses to light on fire]
- Strong Bad: Stupid matches, freakin' light the fire!
- Strong Mad: [rubbing his belly] Ugh. Hungry.
- Bubs: I'm with Strong Mad. I feel about as hungry as the King of Town on a Saturday!
- Strong Bad: I'm trying! I'm trying! Gtch!
- [taunting voice]
- Strong Bad: Hello, my name is Piece of Wood and I don't want to catch fire. Hello, my name is Little Match, and I don't want to *make* a fire!
- [completely agitated]
- Strong Bad: HELLO! MY NAME IS FIRE, AND I'M NOT COMING TO YOUR STUPID PARTY!