Hugh Laurie credited as playing...
Dr. Gregory House
- Dr. Wilson: [to House] Ah, yes. If it isn't Doctor "Ironside."
- Dr. Gregory House: Ah, if it isn't Doctor "I Had No Friends When I Was Growing Up, So All I Did Was Watch TV By Myself, Which Is Why I Can Now Make Constant Pop Culture References Which No One Understands But Me."
- Dr. Wilson: That's my name. Don't wear it out.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: [about a patient that keeps bleeding] We plug one hole and end up poking another.
- Dr. Gregory House: Are we talking about the patient, or how to get a raise from Cuddy?
- Dr. Gregory House: [Seeing Dr. Whitner in her wheelchair] Sweet ride. I asked for the one with a sissy bar and a banana seat, but Santa gave me this instead. Guess that's what I get for being naughty.
- Dr. Julie Whitner: You must be Dr. House.
- Dr. Gregory House: Yeah. So, looks like there's been some sort of mix-up at the parking office.
- Dr. Julie Whitner: They had to move me closer to the door.
- Dr. Gregory House: Had to? You don't look like the type to pull a weapon.
- Dr. Julie Whitner: Wheelchair.
- Dr. Gregory House: Cane. I think you should do the honorable thing, let me have my space back.
- Dr. Julie Whitner: Oh well, uh... since you asked so nicely, wheelchair.
- Dr. Gregory House: Cane! Walking long distances makes my leg hurt.
- Dr. Julie Whitner: And it's easy for me?
- Dr. Gregory House: Of course not. Pushing that little lever? The muscles must burn. I'm sure the last 10 yards are pure torture.
- Dr. Julie Whitner: Crossing the parking lot is dangerous. Cars can't see me.
- Dr. Gregory House: You ever hit a patch of black ice with a cane?
- Dr. Julie Whitner: No, gosh, on account of the fact that I can't walk. Maybe you should ask the parking office for some crampons.
- Dr. Gregory House: This is about who can most easily cross the parking lot. You're the winner.
- Dr. Julie Whitner: Oh, and the prize is apparently a parking space.