Bill Treacher credited as playing...
Arthur Fowler
- Mark Fowler: All right, so I nicked dinner money to buy fags and some days I bunk off. And yes, I'm afraid I'll be leaving school without a CSE. Quite honestly, Dad, I don't care.
- [mumbles]
- Mark Fowler: School's a load of crap.
- Pauline Fowler: Mark!
- Mark Fowler: I admi' i' all. So wha'? Next question.
- Arthur Fowler: Al righ', what abou' 'ome, then: pinching money from your mum's purse, pinching 'er fags.
- Mark Fowler: I don'.
- Arthur Fowler: We know you do.
- Pauline Fowler: Look, it seems it all boils down to smoking. If you didn' need money for cigarettes, you wouldn' be doing these things.
- Mark Fowler: Smoking's a big crime, eh, Mum.
- Arthur Fowler: [angrily] Well, you shouldn't be doing it! Not at your age, it's bloody ridiculous!
- Mark Fowler: What abou' Mum then? Smoking when you're pregnant, even I know that's wrong!
- Arthur Fowler: We're talkin' abou' you, not Mum! She's been smoking for 20 years, she's got the 'abit! But there's no need for you to ge' it too, is there? All it's doing for you is getting you into trouble! Anyway from now on, you get no pocket money.
- Mark Fowler: I get none anyway.
- Arthur Fowler: And dinner money! You get none of that either.
- Mark Fowler: What's the point of tha'?
- Arthur Fowler: Because I'm not forking out for you to spend on fags, am I!
- Mark Fowler: Well, I'm even more likely to nick someone else's money an' all.
- Arthur Fowler: Are you takin' the mickey or wha'? Good God it's one thing that's the matter with you init. I've had to take the day of work to sor' ou' you and your troubles! Don't you care wha' happens to you? And what exactly are you gonna do, 'ave you though' abou' tha'?
- Mark Fowler: Much the same as you, I expect, Dad. Si' around on my arse during the dark.
- Pauline Fowler: [gasps, then slaps Mark on the face] Mark!
- Mark Fowler: Don' 'it me, Mum. I don't like it, it makes me lose my temper.
- Pauline Fowler: Get out, just get out. C'mon, I won't have you talking to your father like that. 'E's not a no-good layabout skiver, I don't wanna see you the rest of the day!
- [Mark slams the door and exits. Pauline sighs]