Scott Krinsky credited as playing...
Jeff Barnes
- Jeff Barnes: Does it shock you that 80 percent of my encounters with women have been without their knowledge?
- Chuck Bartowski: Honestly, I'm more surprised by the other 20 percent.
- Lester Patel: Yeah, sure it's going to blow their minds, but uh, where does all this *lead*? Stadium, groupies, creative differences? And then what? Jeffster breaks up? That's you and me, Jeff! And then what's my fate? Some chambermaid finds me in some hotel room having accidentally asphyxiated while making love to myself! It's not worth it!
- [Storms out. Jeff turns and faces Ellie and Awesome]
- Jeff Barnes: He's such a tortured artist.
- Lester Patel: [Morgan doesn't want Anna moving in with him] You've come to the right place. Repulsion is our business.
- Jeff Barnes: And business is good.
- Lester Patel: I mean people, do you have any idea what working with fried food will do to my complexion?
- Jeff Barnes: I can't leave the Buy More. I won't survive in the real world. I'm institutionalized.
- Jeff Barnes: If I could travel in time, I'd go to Lester's birth. I'd love to see the look on your face when you emerge from the vaginal canal.