- Barney: [knocks on Lily's aparment door in San Francisco in a flashback. Lily opens] Yeah, yeah, yeah. "Barney, what are you doing here? I can't believe it's really you. Come in. Have a seat. You want some tea? I know the apartment's small, I don't need much space. Let me show you some of my paintings, I think it's some of my best work ever..." Just stop it! Lily, you have to come home. You and Marshall belong together. The two of you have something that most people search their whole lives for, and never find. I know you love him, and if you knew what he was going through right now, you wouldn't be here for one more second. I bought you a ticket home. Marshall is one of the best people I know, and it won't be long until someone else realizes that, and you'll lose him forever. I can't stand the thought of that happening. And I cannot keep stealing chicks from him forever. Never ever tell anyone I was here, I will deny it to the nail, this trip never happened.
- Robin Scherbatsky: Hey, Barney, check out what I got Lily for her shower. It's kind of racy. Think you can handle it?
- Barney: Uh, I've been in a tenway, so yeah.
- Robin Scherbatsky: [holds out a minimal dress] It's kind of see-through.
- Barney: Woah-ho-ho! You weren't kidding. You know when you should give that to her? 1850!
- Marshall Eriksen: It's my bachelor party. We're not having strippers.
- Barney: Ahhhh, he thinks he has a say in it. So, strippers it is!
- Ted: We love naked women. Naked women are among the best things in the world. It goes naked women, democracy, that scene in Every Which Way But Loose where the monkey gives the finger.
- Marshall Eriksen: [watching videos that Barney brought for the bachelor party] Whoa, Morgan Freeman? He really is in everything.
- Barney: Oh, damn. I grabbed the wrong "Deep Impact".
- Marshall Eriksen: [after the stripper breaks her ankle] Now we'll have to spend my bachelor party in the hospital.
- Barney: Then we'll see her X-rays. The ultimate stripping. X-rays? More like triple-X-rays.
- Robin Scherbatsky: Hey Barney, look what I got Lily for her shower. It's kinda racy, think you can handle it?
- Barney: Uh, I've been in a ten-way, so yeah.