B.J. Novak: Ryan Howard

Safety Training

Ryan Howard

Michael Scott: Heart disease kills more people than balers.
Lonny: That's called having a fat butt, Michael.
Michael Scott: No. No, it's sedentary.
Lonny: Yeah, yeah, that's fat butt disease. That's what you suffer from? You have fat butt disease, Michael?
Kelly Kapoor: Excuse me, sea monster, you weigh like a thousand pounds.
Lonny: Yeah?
Kelly Kapoor: Yeah.
Lonny: I bet you'd like to swim with this sea monster, wouldn't you?
Kelly Kapoor: Ryan!
Lonny: Dude, please tell your girl to shut up.
Kelly Kapoor: What?
Ryan Howard: Kelly, you've insulted the gentleman. Please apologize.
Kelly Kapoor: Are you kidding me?

Dwight Schrute: Hey! Guys, listen up, Michael is up on the roof and acting strange.
Andy Bernard: Whoa! What's the situation?
Dwight Schrute: Un-shun. I think he's suffering from depression. Re-shun.
Andy Bernard: Okay, when's the shunning thing going to end?
Dwight Schrute: Un-shun. Never. Re-shun. I think he wants you all to come out to the parking lot and watch him *die*.
Stanley Hudson: Is it nice outside?
Dwight Schrute: It's gorgeous. Let's go!
Stanley Hudson: Do I need my jacket?
Dwight Schrute: No, it really is. It's very nice. Come on!
Ryan Howard: Will I be too warm in a long-sleeve tee?
Dwight Schrute: Everyone's going to be fine in exactly what they're wearing! Let's go!

[Ryan is watching his watch while Kelly is seated on the desk in front of him talking. The rest of the office staff are seen in the background watching their conversation]
Kelly Kapoor: So then the next movie moves to the top of the queue. So number five becomes number four, number six becomes number five, number three becomes number two, etcetera, etcetera. And let's just say that I just sent back "Love Actually," which was awesome. And they sent me "Uptown Girls," which is also awesome. But guess what, now I want to see "Love Actually" again, but it's at the bottom of the queue. Oh, no, what do I do? What I do is this. I go online, I go click, click, click, and I change the order of the queue so that I can see "Love Actually" as soon as I want to. It's so easy, Ryan. Do you really not know how Netflix works?
Ryan Howard: I guess I forgot.
[stands up, smiles and kisses Kelly on the forehead before collecting his winnings]
Kelly Kapoor: You're such a ditz.
Kevin Malone: Ryan, well done. Two minutes, 42 seconds. Additionally, Pam, you win $10 because she said "awesome" 12 times. And Jim, you win $5 because she mentioned six romantic comedies.
[Pam and Jim smile in delight]