Tyler Steelman credited as playing...
Ned Gold (Teen)
- Ned Gold: I can't act normal.
- Principal Jane Masterson: Clearly.
- Ned Gold: I'm just trying to impress you. I don't come to places like this. I'm a dork. I'm the kind of person who spends $10,000 on Gandalf the Grey's quarterstaff from the Two Towers.
- Principal Jane Masterson: Yes that does make you a dork. Especially since Gandalf the Grey only appears in Fellowship. He returns in Two Towers as Gandalf the White.
- Ned Gold: [looks at mike's clothes] What are you wearing?
- Mike O' Donnell: This is cool. This is hip. There's a picture of Kevin Federline wearing the exact same thing. What are you wearing? You're supposed to show up like a dad, you look like Clay Aiken
- Ned Gold: Leave him out of this.
- Ned Gold: [speaking Elvish] So how's your salad?
- Principal Jane Masterson: [speaking Elvish] Good, the arugula is really fresh. So, how did you learn to speak Elvish?
- Ned Gold: The Learning Annex.
- Principal Jane Masterson: [Meeting principal Masterson for the first time] Hello...
- Ned Gold: Hi... hello.
- Principal Jane Masterson: [Ned won't let go of principal Masterson's hand] uhmm... I think we're good here.
- Ned Gold: I think our hands just made a baby.
- Mike O' Donnell: Excuse my dad, he's not used to talking... to attractive women.
- Principal Jane Masterson: Well. thank you...
- Mike O' Donnell: Mark...
- Principal Jane Masterson: For that flattering yet inappropriate comment.
- Ned Gold: Before we get started i think you should know that mark's a bastard.
- Principal Jane Masterson: Excuse me?
- Ned Gold: I had him out of wedlock so I'm single... and very rich.