Alex Borstein credited as playing...
Lois Griffin
- Lois Griffin: [on Peter's new mustache] I think it's handsome.
- Brian Griffin: I think it's gay.
- Peter Griffin: Oh yeah? Well, if I'm gay then Freddie Mercury was gay.
- Brian Griffin: Freddie Mercury, the lead singer of Queen? He was incredibly gay!
- Peter Griffin: He was not. He had a mustache. That's practically like having a wedding band.
- Peter Griffin: Black guy mail!
- Lois Griffin: Peter, you're just supposed to pick up Cleveland's mail, not go through it.
- Peter Griffin: Lois, black people are different than you and I. And me, I find that hilarious.
- Lois Griffin: Peter, have you seen Brian?
- Peter Griffin: [muffled voice] No, Lois. I have not.
- Lois Griffin: Well, I haven't seen him since this morning, and I...
- [looks at Peter's face]
- Lois Griffin: What is that on your head?
- [Peter turns around to reveal Brian duct-taped to his face]
- Peter Griffin: It's a mustache, Lois! What? You never seen a mustache before?
- Brian Griffin: Lois, would you mind calling the police or something?
- Peter Griffin: Quiet, mustache!
- Lois Griffin: Oh my God, Peter, I know you're upset about losing that thing, but get a grip on yourself. Let Brian down!
- Peter Griffin: No! I'm not living my life without a mustache! Even if sometimes my mustache has Alpo-gas.
- [Brian farts]
- Peter Griffin: Mustache fart.