Jayson
Mark
Darren
Narrator / Christopher (as Charles Balducci)
Mario
Guido
Fat Tony Colucci
Tammy
Mr. Burton
Mrs. Dickenson
Pawn Shop Owner
Dancing Doorman
Todd / Chuck
Band member 'Anal Swet'
Stick up Man
Kim
Lisa
Eddie
Young Fat Tony Colucci
Nicole
Thug 1