Jamie Bell credited as playing...
Tintin
- Captain Haddock: I thought you were an optimist.
- Tintin: You were wrong, weren't you? I'm a realist.
- Captain Haddock: Ah, it's just another name for a quitter.
- Tintin: You can call me what you like. Don't you get it? We failed.
- Captain Haddock: Failed. There are plenty of others willing to call you a failure. A fool. A loser. A hopeless souse. Don't you ever say it of yourself. You send out the wrong signal, that is what people pick up. Don't you understand? You care about something, you fight for it. You hit a wall, you push through it. There's something you need to know about failure, Tintin. You can never let it defeat you.
- Captain Haddock: My memory isn't the way it used to be.
- Tintin: How was it?
- Captain Haddock: I've forgotten.
- Captain Haddock: Nobody takes my ship!
- Tintin: They've already taken it.
- Captain Haddock: But nobody takes my ship twice!
- Tintin: We've got bad news. We've only got one bullet.
- Captain Haddock: What's the good news?
- Tintin: We've got ONE bullet.
- Thomson: [looks at the newspaper] Great Scotland Yard! That's extraordinary!
- Tintin: What is?
- Thomson: Worthington's having a half-price sale on bowler hats!
- Inspector Thompson: [snatches the newspaper] Really, Thomson! This is hardly the time...
- [looks at the newspaper]
- Inspector Thompson: Great Scotland Yard!
- Thomson, Tintin: What is it?
- Inspector Thompson: Canes are half-price too!
- [from trailer]
- [in a plane]
- Captain Haddock: You do know what you're doing, right?
- Tintin: Relax. I interviewed a pilot once!
- Tintin: What have you done?
- Captain Haddock: No need to thank me.
- Tintin: What?
- Captain Haddock: Well, you looked a little cold, so I lit a wee fire.
- Tintin: In a boat!
- Captain Haddock: So you thought you'd sneak in an' catch me with me trousers down, eh?
- Tintin: I'd rather you keep your trousers on if it's all the same to you!
- Tintin: Captain, can you get us to Bagghar?
- Captain Haddock: What sort of a stupid question is that?
- [gets up]
- Captain Haddock: Give me those oars! I'll show you some real seamanship, laddie! I'll not be doubted by some pipsqueak tuft of ginger and his irritating dog. I am master and commander of the seas!
- [Closeup on Tintin, who is slowly waking up]
- Captain Haddock: [echoing] Tintin? Tintin? Come warm yourself, laddie.
- [Tintin wakes up to find that Captain Haddock has lit a fire out of the wooden oars, in the boat and is trying to warm himself]
- Tintin: [horrified] Captain! What have you done?
- Captain Haddock: [calmly] Oh, no need to thank me.
- Tintin: What?
- Captain Haddock: Well, you looked a little cold, so I lit a wee fire.
- Tintin: *IN A BOAT*? No, those are our oars! We need those oars!
- Captain Haddock: [snapping an oar in two and throwing it into the fire; merrily] Yes, but not for much longer.
- Tintin: Have you gone MAD? Quick, Captain! Help me!
- [frantically begins splashing salt water on the fire, trying to put it out]
- Tintin: Captain help me quick!
- Captain Haddock: [realizing his mistake] He's right! What have I done? What have I done?
- [frantically grabs the whiskey bottle he was preparing to drink, opens it and pours it on the fire]
- Tintin: No! Captain, not that!
- [a massive explosion occurs from a distance]
- Captain Haddock: [from the distance; moaning] Thundering Typhoons!
- [Tintin and Haddock are now sitting on top the lifeboat, which has flipped upside down]
- Tintin: Well, this is a fine mess.
- [from trailer]
- Tintin: Are you going to take charge of this evidence?
- Inspector Thompson: Never fear, Tintin! The evidence is safe with us!
- [falls down stairs]
- Thomson: Thompson? Where are you?
- Inspector Thompson: Well, I'm already downstairs! You'd better keep up!
- [last lines]
- Tintin: Four hundred weight of gold, just lying at the bottom of the sea. How's your thirst for adventure, Captain?
- Captain Haddock: Unquenchable, Tintin.
- [Snowy barks]
- Captain Haddock: It was Allan, he nobbled me... and there was a bottle...
- Tintin: There always is!
- Captain Haddock: No, it's not like that...
- Tintin: I can smell it on you!
- Tintin: [seeing a poster of the "Milanese Nightengale", the opera singer Bianca Castafiore, being unveiled in Bagghar] The Milanese Nightingale. That's his secret weapon?
- Thomson: [amazed] My!
- Inspector Thompson: [equally amazed] My!
- Captain Haddock: What a *dish.*
- [Tintin, Haddock and Snowy are in the lifeboat; Tintin rows]
- Tintin: We have to get to Bagghar ahead of Sakharine.
- Captain Haddock: I know, I know. Why?
- Tintin: Because he has the third model ship.
- Captain Haddock: How do *you* know?
- Tintin: The Sheik collects old ships, and this...
- [shows Haddock a photo of the model]
- Tintin: ... is the prize of his collection.
- Captain Haddock: Blistering blue barnacles, that is the Unicorn!
- Tintin: Captain, do you see the distortion around the model?
- Captain Haddock: Uh-huh, aye.
- Tintin: It means that Ben Salaad exhibits it in a bulletproof glass case in his palace.
- Captain Haddock: And Sakharine is going there to steal it!
- Tintin: Yes, he has a secret weapon. The Milanese Nightingale, but that won't be enough to solve the mystery, and that is why Sakharine needs you. That's why he made you his prisoner. There is something he needs you to remember.
- Captain Haddock: I don't follow you.
- Tintin: I read it in a book.
- [sits down]
- Tintin: That only a true Haddock can discover the secret of the Unicorn.
- [Haddock gasps and smiles as if he's remembered something; Tintin smiles back]
- Captain Haddock: I don't remember anything about anything.
- Tintin: But you *must* know about your ancestors, Sir Francis-- It's your family legacy.
- Captain Haddock: My memory is not what it used to be.
- Tintin: Well, what *did* it used to be?
- Captain Haddock: I've forgotten.
- [Snowy whines]
- Tintin: Captain... can you get us to Bagghar?
- Captain Haddock: [offended] What sort of a stupid question is *that*?
- [stands up]
- Captain Haddock: Give me those oars! I'll show you some *real* seamanship, laddie!
- Captain Haddock: [turns the handle of a locked door] Barnacles! Someone's locked the door!
- Tintin: Well, is there a key?
- Captain Haddock: A key? Ah!
- [Haddock's breath makes Tintin wince and cough]
- Captain Haddock: Yes, now, that would be the problem.
- [Tintin struggles to keep his balance; follows Haddock who opens the door to the crew's sleeping quarters]
- Captain Haddock: Mr. Jaggerman, top bunk in the centre, keeper of the keys. Careful, mate. He's a restless sleeper on account of the tragic loss of his eyelids.
- Tintin: He lost his eyelids?
- Captain Haddock: Aye. Now, that was a card game to remember.
- [chuckles]
- Captain Haddock: Oh, you really had to be there.