Malin Akerman credited as playing...
Tess
- Tess: [about their childhood dog] Not a day goes by that I don't think about that bag of fleas. Good old Tory.
- George: Hey, Jane, how come you never mentioned Tory?
- Jane: I don't know. I guess I repressed the memory of *Toby*.
- Tess: Yeah, his name was Toby, but I called him Tory because I had a lisp.
- Jane: A lisp that turned your B's to R's?
- Tess: How could you let this happen to me?
- [begins reading from newspaper article]
- Tess: "If Jane is the prototypical accommodating bridesmaid, then her sister Tess is cast as the overbearing, overindulged bride-to-be who at any moment might start stomping around Manhattan, breathing fire, and swatting planes from the sky."
- Jane: I had no idea he was writing an article about me.
- Tess: You? He called me Bridezilla! In the New York freaking Journal! I could tear him apart limb from limb!
- Jane: I... I thought you were wearing Mom's dress.
- Tess: It is Mom's dress. Well, parts of it. It was just so old-fashioned, you know? So we could just use a few pieces here and there.
- Jane: Parts?
- Tess: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like this, and the lace.
- Jane: You cut up Mom's wedding dress?
- Tess: Well, technically Mary-Ella did. But don't worry. We saved you the rest. And, I mean, if you want, you can wear this... as long as a silhouette's still in fashion. Mary-Ella, I think just the bottom needs to be hemmed a little bit.
- Jane: No. No, no, no, no. No!
- Tess: Okay, fine. You don't have to wear it.
- Jane: God, you don't care. You don't care about anyone but yourself, do you? I have made excuses for you because Mom died when you were little. But enough is enough!
- Tess: I have no idea what you're talking about.
- Jane: I can't undo what you've just done. But I won't let you hurt George. He thinks he knows the truth about you, but all he knows are the lies you've told him. You even had Pedro keep a secret from George. You tell him the truth right now! He is not one of your Eurotrash boyfriends, Tess. He is a good person. And you cannot start a relationship based on lies.
- Tess: Oh, really, Jane? And you know this because of all your successful relationships?