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CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (2000)

Quotes

Ending Happy

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Edit
  • Gil Grissom: Twenty-five people here last night, and nobody sees anything.
  • Tanya: [passing by] Nice hat honey.
  • Sara Sidle: So, uh, you've been to a place like this before?
  • Gil Grissom: I worked a murder/suicide at the Naughty Kitty once.
  • Sara Sidle: No, no. Come on, you know what I mean.
  • Gil Grissom: As a customer? No.
  • Sara Sidle: You've never paid for sex?
  • Gil Grissom: I have not. I find the whole idea very... bleak.
  • Sara Sidle: Really? How come?
  • Gil Grissom: Sex should provide the opportunity for human connection, but paid sex does the opposite of that. To me, sex without love is... pointless. It makes you sad.
  • Sara Sidle: Well, I'm pretty sure I don't make you sad.
  • Gil Grissom: No. You make me happy.
  • Milton: I shot an arrow into the air,it fell to earth, I knew not where; For, so swiftly it flew, the sight. Could not follow it in its flight. Long, long... '
  • Nick Stokes: Sir, that's, that's really sweet.
  • Milton: That's Longfellow. What do you kids know about poetry?
  • Sara Sidle: Nick, the arrow came in through that window.
  • Nick Stokes: Yeah.
  • Milton: Even an idiot would see that.
  • [Nick goes out, looks around and finds another arrow, he comes back]
  • Nick Stokes: Hey Sara, I found another arrow shot into the ground near that tool shed.
  • Sara Sidle: Maybe the shooter got nervous.
  • Nick Stokes: Well, to work in a Brothel you're required to register your fingerprints. So...
  • Sara Sidle: I'm almost done here, I'll catch up.
  • Nick Stokes: Okay. I'll let you know if we get lucky.
  • Sara Sidle: [turns to Milton and finishes the poem] 'Long, long afterward, in an oak I found the arrow, still unbroke; And the song, from beginning to end, found again in the heart of a friend.' Keep the faith Milton.
  • Sara Sidle: [after putting her hand in the water] Feels like bath water. It's gotta be ninety degrees. There's no way we're going to get an accurate TOD.
  • Gil Grissom: Places like this always keep their pools warm, it encourages the girls to swim topless. It's good for business.
  • [at Sara's look]
  • Gil Grissom: So they tell me.
  • Jim Brass: [after suspect sings to him] Do I look like Paula Abdul to you?
  • Jim Brass: So the guy in took an arrow through the throat and it prolonged his life?
  • Dr. Al Robbins: Apparently.
  • Catherine Willows: And what are the odds of it not hitting any major artery?
  • Dr. Al Robbins: Whatever comes right before zero.
  • Greg Sanders: You know, I kind of feel bad for these girls.
  • Hodges: Don't feel too bad. They have health benefits, good pay. The women get regular check-ups. The industry is well-regulated. As opposed to picking a hooker up off the street. Does she have a disease? Multiple diseases? Is she crazy? Is she gonna roll you? Where do you go? Do you do it in your car, behind a building, down a dark alley? So you drive around, scared out of your mind, finally get the nerve up, pick one you like, call her over, she gets in. Next thing you know, you're down on the pavement, cuffed, because she's an undercover cop, but luckily you were three months shy of your eighteenth birthday so when you call your mom to come get you, it doesn't go on my permanent record.
  • Greg Sanders: [momentarily speechless] ... Okay.
  • Gil Grissom: Where's your coroner?
  • Sheriff Ned Bastille: Couldn't get him on the horn. Probably out in some barn, up to his elbows in a cow's vagina.
  • Sara Sidle: Excuse me?
  • Sheriff Ned Bastille: Oh yeah, coroner's a part time gig here in Bryant County. He's a veterinarian. That's his money gig.
  • Nick Stokes: You know what a good defence lawyer's gonna say about all this?
  • Catherine Willows: What?
  • Nick Stokes: The lawn chair did it.
  • George 'Binky' Babinkian: Your mother sleeps with Azerbaijani!

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