Jack McBrayer credited as playing...
Kenneth Parcell
- Kenneth Parcell: I don't drink coffee, sir, I don't drink hot liquids of any kind. That's the devil's temperature.
- Kenneth Parcell: I made two promises to my mother before I left for New York. One, if I found any Mackenzies living up here, I would kill them. And two, I would not let this city change me.
- Tracy Jordan: So you had a little bender.
- Kenneth Parcell: It's not just the coffee. I also went to a PG-13 movie. I-I bought a pair of sunglasses. I tried a Jewish doughnut. I'd always been told that New York was the 21st-century city of Sodom. And look what's happened. I've become one of them. I've been sodomized.
- Tracy Jordan: Hey! Slow down there, Ken! Coffee's not like alcohol. It's pretty addictive.
- Kenneth Parcell: I love how it makes me feel! It's like my heart is trying to hug my brain.