Brendan Hines credited as playing...
Andy Goode
- Andy Goode: That's the phone. Seriously, if I was going to be alone on a desert island with only a phone for a companion, that would absolutely be the phone.
- Sarah Connor: Is that something you would do?
- Sarah Connor: What happens if I press these numbers, here?
- Andy Goode: 'Scuse me?
- Sarah Connor: These numbers, one through nine. If I press seven of them will someone talk to me through the ear part up here?
- Andy Goode: Uh... yeah.
- Sarah Connor: Okay. I'll take three.
- Andy Goode: You wanna have dinner with me tonight?
- Sarah Connor: No.
- Andy Goode: Well, you answered too quickly. Hear me out, just give me one minute. Thirty seconds?
- Sarah Connor: Talk fast.
- Andy Goode: Okay, well, first let me clear up the whole desert island and the cell phone thing. Seems kinda strange if you picture it.
- Sarah Connor: I wasn't.
- Andy Goode: Right, of course. Why would you? It's an asinine sales pitch, really. There's nowhere to plug in the phone, and it would be worth less then a rock when the battery died; couldn't even use it to open a coconut.
- Sarah Connor: This is you selling yourself?
- Andy Goode: Selling myself? Oh, I don't know, there's something immoral about the whole selling process.
- Sarah Connor: And yet, that's your job.
- Andy Goode: Part time. And I'm not very good at it. So I'm actually less immoral than the average... anyway, um... where was I?
- Sarah Connor: You're right.
- Andy Goode: About what?
- Sarah Connor: I answered too quick.
- Sarah Connor: So what's your deal, Andy? I can't imagine you majored in cell phone sales in college.
- Andy Goode: No, no. More like Funyuns and twelve packs of Jolt from the vintage soda store while my roommates and I hacked Zelda 3 so the princess would say funny lines ripped from reruns.
- Sarah Connor: [with an amused smile] What's that language you speak, boy?
- Andy Goode: Computer science, CalTech; advanced dork.
- Andy Goode: Did you ever want to be anything other than a waitress?
- Sarah Connor: Yes.
- Andy Goode: What was it?
- Sarah Connor: I can't remember.
- Andy Goode: Would you believe me if I told you Turk has moods? Obviously, not in the sense that you and I understand mood, but sometimes I'll feed it a particular chess problem and it'll solve it one way. The next day, I'll feed it the same problem and it solves it differently. Once in a while, it can't even solve it at all. You know why it does that?
- Sarah Connor: No.
- Andy Goode: Neither do I. Someday, I'm gonna figure it out. Someday, Turk'll tell me.
- Sarah Connor: You talk about it like it's human.
- Andy Goode: Well, you never know.
- Andy Goode: Well, eight years of my life. Not just the software. I customized the hardware, too. One month I worked so much on a, uh, motherboard that I lost my sight for three days. No, that really happened. Those circuits are so small a lot of the gear is actually pulled from gaming platforms. Did you know that the uh military uses them? Yeah, I've got the guts of three Xboxes and four PlayStations daisy-chained. Plus some seriously modded-out code that I *swear* came to me in a dream.
- Sarah Connor: And all this to beat another computer at chess?
- Andy Goode: None of this to beat another computer at chess.
- Sarah Connor: Then what? What are you doing?
- Andy Goode: Would you believe me if I told you Turk has moods? Obviously not in the sense that you and I understand mood, but, sometimes I will feed it a particular chess problem, and it'll solve it one way. The next day I feed it the same problem and it solves it differently. Once in a while it can't even solve it at all. Do you know why it does that?
- Sarah Connor: No.
- Andy Goode: Yeah, neither do I. Someday, I'm gonna figure it out. Someday Turk'll tell me.
- Sarah Connor: You talk about it like it's human.
- Andy Goode: Well, you never know.
- [Sarah is strangely quiet]
- Andy Goode: What? Too far? What is it?