Michael Weatherly: Anthony DiNozzo

Identity Crisis

Anthony DiNozzo

Special Agent Courtney Krieger: [about the murder victim] Picked him up offloading stolen cargo containers.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: At which point you discover a nameless man whose entire history's been erased. No fingerprints, no criminal record...
Special Agent Courtney Krieger: Not even a high school transcript.
Special Agent Timothy McGee: Well, that's impossible. You'd need first-person access to the federal mainframe, credit ratings, countless private companies...
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: That'd be like taking spit out of the ocean.
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: How'd he do it?
Special Agent Courtney Krieger: Claimed he didn't. Said he was contacted by someone offering the service.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: The Eraser.
Special Agent Timothy McGee: What movie's that from?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [sarcastically] I don't know. "Flashdance"?

Sr. FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: You think the kid's Kamal? He would have had to start when he was 8 years old!
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Not if he's the new Dread Pirate Roberts.
Abby Sciuto: [gasp] I love "The Princess Bride"! "No one would ever surrender to the Dread Pirate Westley."
[They laugh, Gibbs and Fornell stare blankly at both of them]
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [turns his chuckle into a cough] The Dread Pirate Roberts picks a successor, then trains him, starts calling him "Roberts," and then settles into a cushy retirement. It's the *name* "Kamal" that sells the business.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Highland beach in October. Not much of a tourist draw. Soft-shell crab season's almost over. People really like boats that much?
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You work for the Navy, DiNozzo.

[phone rings]
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Pick it up, DiNozzo.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: On it, Boss.
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: AFIP. Smooth things over.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [picks up phone] Please hold.
[mutes it]
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: What did we do to incur the wrath of the Armed Forces Institute of Pathology?
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Ducky kept one of their cadavers.
Special Agent Timothy McGee: Ducky stole a cadaver?
Ziva David: I'm sure he had a good reason.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I was at an embassy party once - gated, razor wire, surveillance system, the whole deal - and this guy just walks in the front door wearing a t-shirt that says "Liquor Store", holds up a brown paper bag, and he goes, "did anybody order, um, a bottle of vodka?"
Special Agent Ziva David: The places you can access when you look the part.

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: She killed once for a new life...
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Why not twice?
Sr. FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: Did us a favor. Kamal's dead.
Jenny Shepard: Doesn't seem to bother his international clients.
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: The terrorist training camp?
Jenny Shepard: Marine task force just went in.
Sr. FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: And...?
Jenny Shepard: One terrorist killed. They found an American passport on his body, it went through squeaky clean.
Special Agent Timothy McGee: Kamal had completed the job.
Sr. FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: What about the rest of the cell?
Jenny Shepard: Too late, already gone.
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: They're on their way here.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: And the only man who knows who they are is past telling us.
Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: [entering] That's not certain, Tony. Our dead man may have one thing left to say...

[watching the bust from MTAC]
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: An NCIS production, brought to you by Leroy Jethro Gibbs.
[Fornell and a squad of agents converge on the suspect]
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Starring, as usual, the FBI, and the elusive Kamal Konkani.

Jenny Shepard: What do you know about this "Eraser"?
Sr. FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: McGee?
[McGee calls up the information on the MTAC screen]
Sr. FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: Believed to be a Pakistani national, raised in India and England. Made his name working with terrorists.
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Clean IDs, easy transit.
Sr. FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: Facilitated Basque terror attacks in Spain, IRA bombings in England, the GIA bombing in France in 1995...
Jenny Shepard: Killed eight, wounded hundreds. Led by Khaled Kelkal.
Sr. FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: French authorities identified the man who made it possible as Kamal Konkani...
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: That's a lot of Ks. Ks are funny... Agent Krieger. You ever see "The Sunshine Boys"...?
Ziva David: Shh!