Amy Sedaris credited as playing...
Princess Carolyn
- Diane Nguyen: Princess Carolyn, wait. I understand you're trying to be helpful, in your own pushy, self-absorbed way.
- Princess Carolyn: Oh, thank you!
- Diane Nguyen: But I don't wanna write a middle-grade fiction detective series.
- Princess Carolyn: I think you do, though. Because when I was reading it, I could tell you were having fun.
- Diane Nguyen: Yeah, but I'm not writing a book to have fun. If I don't write my book of essays now, I never will.
- Princess Carolyn: So, don't write your book of essays.
- Diane Nguyen: I have to!
- Princess Carolyn: Why?
- Diane Nguyen: Because if I don't, that means that all the damage I got isn't good damage, it's just damage. I have gotten nothing out of it, and all those years I was miserable was for nothing. I could've been happy this whole time and written books about girl detectives and been cheerful and popular and had good parents, is that what you're saying? What was it all for?
- Princess Carolyn: I-
- [sighs]
- Princess Carolyn: I don't know, Diane. All I know is that this book about the girl detective is fun. I liked it. I like thinking that my daughter could grow up in a world with books like that. Or if my daughter's not a reader, a lucrative film adaptation.
- Diane Nguyen: When I was a little girl I thought that everything, all the abuse and neglect, it somehow made me... special. And I decided that one day I would write something that would make little girls like me feel less alone. And if I can't write that book...
- Princess Carolyn: Then... Then maybe write this other book. Maybe this book does that, too.
- Diane Nguyen: Yeah?