Kaitlin Olson credited as playing...
Dee Reynolds
- Dee Reynolds: What is this thing?
- Charlie Kelly: That's Dennis' prototype. Be careful with that.
- Dee Reynolds: No, I know it's the prototype but I don't get how it works.
- Charlie Kelly: Dee, you're asking a million questions. All right look, I'm just going to walk you through it, so pay attention. Okay, look, the pretty lady gets naked, of course, and I help her into the prototype, yes? My hands sort of guiding along her body making sure that it fits properly. Now the dress is starting to look fantastic, you know? And she feels very excited, she feels very sensual and I feel very sensual about her because she looks so good. And then, you know, we chit-chat a little bit, no big deal but she asks me back to her place. Where did that come from? I accept, you know? And then we chit-chat at her place, it's no big deal, but eventually she says, "Do you want to make love, Charlie?"
- Dee Reynolds: Oh, God.
- Charlie Kelly: And I say, "Are you serious? Because yes, I do." And then just boom, we're in to it and it's hot and it's passionate.
- Dee Reynolds: Charlie...
- Charlie Kelly: And then it's just you and me babe...
- Dee Reynolds: Oh, my God.
- Charlie Kelly: ...Like all night long...
- Dee Reynolds: Charlie...
- Charlie Kelly: ...And I satisfy her so many times. She starts screaming my name...
- Dee Reynolds: Charlie!
- Charlie Kelly: "Charlie!" she says...
- Dee Reynolds: Charlie!
- Charlie Kelly: ..."Charlie!" she says, "Charlie!" she says...
- Dee Reynolds: CHARLIE, Jesus!
- Charlie Kelly: Dee! What are you... I thought you had walked back over...
- Dee Reynolds: No, I've been standing here the whole time!
- Charlie Kelly: Look, I was in the middle of a...
- Dee Reynolds: Are you going to help me with this or not?
- Charlie Kelly: I'm trying to... What are you doing, because you're looking pretty...
- Dee Reynolds: Oh Jesus, I'm just going to do this myself.
- Dennis Reynolds: Everyone gather 'round. I have an announcement to make.
- Frank Reynolds: Dennis has an announcement?
- [to Mac]
- Frank Reynolds: Go, now's your chance. Rant and rave.
- Mac: [shouting] Gather 'round, everybody! Gather 'round, please!
- Dee Reynolds: We're all standing here.
- Frank Reynolds: Is this everybody?
- Mac: Is this everybody?
- Dee Reynolds: You know it's everybody. What are you doing?
- Mac: Dennis has an announcement.
- Dee Reynolds: Yeah, I-I-I heard that. I'm wondering what it is.
- Mac: It's an announcement!
- Charlie Kelly: What's up, Dennis?
- Dennis Reynolds: I have an announcement.
- Dee Reynolds: OH, MY GOD! WHAT IS IT?
- Dee Reynolds: You're not a winner, Dennis. You're not a winner because you used to be popular in high school but I think you peaked.
- Dennis Reynolds: [stops in his tracks, then walks back towards Dee] Peaked? Peaked, Dee?
- [chuckles]
- Dennis Reynolds: Let me tell you something, I haven't even begun to peak. And when I do peak, you'll know. Because I'm gonna peak so hard that everybody in Philadelphia's gonna feel it.
- Dee Reynolds: [Speaking to Mac] Mac I'm going to stop you right there. Your breath smells like an old lady fart passing through an onion.