Simon Jones credited as playing...
Arthur Dent
- Prosser: But the plans were on display.
- Arthur Dent: On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar.
- Prosser: That's the display department.
- Arthur Dent: With a torch.
- Prosser: The lights had probably gone.
- Arthur Dent: So had the stairs.
- Prosser: But you did see the notice, didn't you?
- Arthur Dent: Oh, yes. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign outside the door saying "Beware of the Leopard." Ever thought of going into advertising?
- Ford Prefect: Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.
- Arthur Dent: Very deep. You should send that in to the Reader's Digest. They've got a page for people like you.
- Arthur Dent: That man wants to knock my house down.
- Ford Prefect: Well, he can do that whilst you're away, can't he?
- Ford Prefect: And no sneaky knocking Mr. Dent's house down while he's away, all right?
- Prosser: The slightest thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.
- Arthur Dent: Can we trust him?
- Ford Prefect: Myself, I'd trust him till the end of the Earth.
- Arthur Dent: Yes, but how far's that?
- Ford Prefect: About twelve minutes away.
- Ford Prefect: How would you react if I told you that I'm not from Guildford after all, but from a small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse?
- Arthur Dent: I don't know. Why? Do you think it's the sort of thing you're likely to say?
- Ford Prefect: Drink up. The world's about to end.
- Arthur Dent: This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.
- Ford Prefect: How are you feeling?
- Arthur Dent: Like a military academy. Bits of me keep passing out. Ford? If I were to ask you where the hell we were, would I regret it?
- Ford Prefect: We're safe.
- Arthur Dent: Ah. Good.
- Ford Prefect: We're in a cabin of one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet.
- Arthur Dent: Ah. This is obviously some strange usage of the word "safe" that I hadn't previously been aware of.
- Arthur Dent: Good grief. Is this really the interior of a flying saucer?
- Ford Prefect: Yes. What do you think?
- Arthur Dent: Well, it's a bit squalid, isn't it?
- Arthur Dent: What are you doing?
- Ford Prefect: Preparing for hyperspace. It's rather unpleasantly like being drunk.
- Arthur Dent: What's so wrong about being drunk?
- Ford Prefect: Ask a glass of water.
- [Arthur Dent looks up "Earth" in the Hitchhiker's Guide]
- Arthur Dent: What's it say? "Harmless." Just one word? Harmless?
- [last lines]
- Arthur Dent: What the hell's that?
- Ford Prefect: Well, if we're lucky, it's the Vogon Guard come to throw us into space.
- Arthur Dent: And if we're unlucky?
- Ford Prefect: The Vogon Captain might want to read us some of his poetry first.
- Arthur Dent: I like the cover. "Don't Panic". It's the first helpful or intelligible thing anyone's said to me all day.
- Prosser: Mr. Dent?
- Arthur Dent: Hello, yes?
- Prosser: Have you any idea how much damage this bulldozer would suffer if I were to let it roll straight over you?
- Arthur Dent: How much?
- Prosser: None at all.
- Mr. Prosser: You can't lie in front of the bulldozers indefinitely.
- Arthur Dent: I'm game. We'll see who rusts first.
- Mr. Prosser: Mr. Dent!
- Arthur Dent: Hello, yes!
- Mr. Prosser: Have you any idea of how much damage that bulldozer would suffer if I just let it roll straight over you?
- Arthur Dent: How much?
- Mr. Prosser: None at all.
- Arthur Dent: [after they've arrived on board the Vogon ship] If I asked where the hell we were, would I regret it?asked where
- Ford Prefect: We're safe.
- Arthur Dent: Oh, good.
- Ford Prefect: We're in a small galley cabin on one of the ships in the Vogon Constructor Fleet.
- Arthur Dent: Ah! This is obviously some strange use of the word "safe" that I wasn't previously aware of.
- Arthur Dent: How did we get here?
- Ford Prefect: We hitched a lift.
- Arthur Dent: Excuse me! Are you trying to say that we just stuck out our thumbs and some green bug-eyed monster stuck his head out and said "Hi, fellas, hop in, I can take you as far as the Basingstoke roundabout"?
- Ford Prefect: Well, the thumb's an electronic sub-ether device, the roundabout's at Barbard's Star, six light-years away, but otherwise that's more or less it.
- Arthur Dent: And the bug-eyed monster?
- Ford Prefect: [grinning] It's green, yes.
- Arthur Dent: [to Mr. Prosser, talking about the impending demolition of his house] The first I knew about it was when a workman arrived at the door yesterday. I asked him if he'd come to clean the windows, and he said he'd come to demolish the house! He didn't tell me straight away, of course; no, first he wiped a couple of windows and charged me a fiver, *then* he told me!
- Ford Prefect: Hello, Arthur.
- Arthur Dent: Ford! Hi, how are you?
- Ford Prefect: Fine. Look, are you busy?
- Arthur Dent: Well, I've just got this bulldozer to lie down in front of, but otherwise no.
- Arthur Dent: [the Vogan guard has found them] What's that?
- Ford Prefect: Well, if we're lucky, it's just the Vogans come to throw us into deep space.
- Arthur Dent: And if we're UN-lucky?
- Ford Prefect: The captain might want to read us some of his poetry first.