Simon Helberg credited as playing...
Howard Wolowitz
- Howard Wolowitz: [on the phone with Leonard] Hang on, call waiting.
- Leonard: No, don't, don't...
- Howard Wolowitz: [switches over] Hello?
- Sheldon Cooper: Howard, I'm sick.
- Howard Wolowitz: Uh.
- [imitating his mother]
- Howard Wolowitz: Howard's sleeping, this is his mother. Why are you calling at this ungodly hour?
- Sheldon Cooper: I need soup.
- Howard Wolowitz: [still imitating his mother] Then call your own mother.
- Raj Koothrappali: How about Lasik?
- Leonard: You want me to get eye surgery?
- Raj Koothrappali: Would you rather go back to the apartment and deal with Sheldon or have a stranger carve up your corneas with a laser beam?
- [Leonard doesn't respond]
- Howard Wolowitz: Well?
- Leonard: I'm thinking!
- Debbie Wolowitz: [phone rings] HOWARD, IT'S THE PHONE!
- Howard Wolowitz: [waking up] I know it's the phone, Ma I HEAR the phone!
- Debbie Wolowitz: WHO'S CALLING THAT THIS UNGODLY HOUR?
- Howard Wolowitz: I don't know!
- Debbie Wolowitz: WELL ASK THEM *WHY* THEY'RE CALLING THAT THIS UNGODLY HOUR!
- Howard Wolowitz: How can I ask them when I'M TALKING TO YOU?
- [answers phone]
- Howard Wolowitz: Hello?
- Leonard: Howard, it's Leonard. Code milky green.
- Howard Wolowitz: Dear lord, not milky green!
- Leonard: Affirmative. With fever.
- Debbie Wolowitz: WHO'S ON THE PHONE?
- Howard Wolowitz: It's Leonard!
- Debbie Wolowitz: WHY IS HE CALLING?
- Howard Wolowitz: Sheldon's sick!
- Debbie Wolowitz: WERE YOU PLAYING WITH HIM?
- Howard Wolowitz: For God's sake, Ma! I'm 26 years old!
- Debbie Wolowitz: [sarcastic] EXCUSE ME, MR GROWN-UP!
- [Changing subject]
- Debbie Wolowitz: WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR BREAKFAST!
- Howard Wolowitz: [irritated] CHOCOLATE MILK AND EGGOS! PLEASE!
- Howard Wolowitz: [Leonard, Howard and Rajesh arrived at the theater wearing chimp masks, and they see that EVERYONE ELSE is wearing chimp masks]
- [disappointed]
- Howard Wolowitz: Look at this, *everyone* went chimp.
- Raj Koothrappali: For the record, I voted for orangutan, but you guys shouted me down.